- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
I’m relatively new to these boards, but have noticed how helpful you ladies are to each other offering outside opinions and advice. Care to help me out with this please? I’ll try to make it brief.
– So far, I have 6 bridesmaids in mind, 4 of them I have asked and have said yes!
– I have two other friends who were super close to me that I am considering asking.
-One of them I just have not kept in touch with too well, but I love dearly. Whenever we meet to catch up like twice a year, we’re always wonderful together. She still calls me her best friend, even though we never hang out and our interests/circles are completely different. I would love to have her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man because we go WAY BACK (to like 3rd grade), and she cares about me.
– I’ve had somewhat of a one-sided relationship with the other friend for the past couple years. We’ve been friends through each others’ worst times, I love her to pieces, but she has been constantly pushing me away for the past couple years. I have never done anything to criticize her, and I have always made a big effort to support and love her no matter what, even when she’s downright rude to me. The problem is, she knows I don’t agree with everything she does, and although I NEVER forced my opinions on her (I am super conscious of even voicing my opinions, because I know she is extremely sensitive), she tells me I am judgemental. I still love her so much, and want her to be beside me on my wedding day, but I don’t even know if she likes me anymore. We have a weird dynamic right now. Also, if I do ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, and she does say yes, I am not even sure she will be supportive, especially given how she’s acted toward me in the past. She might even just ruin some things just with her negativity.
– To compound the problem, Friend 2 hates Friend 1’s GUTS. They also used to be super close, but some drama ensued, hurtful things were said, and Friend 2 burned that bridge, BIG time. There is no forgiveness anywhere in sight coming from Friend 2 although #1 has apologized profusely and made multiple efforts to reconcile things.
– Both of these friends have told me their sides of that drama story and have somewhat asked me to side with each of them. Not outright, but you can imagine what I mean. So to ask Friend 1 to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man without 2 would almost positively push Friend 2 away forever. And vice versa.
So do I ask both of them (which would be staying neutral in their whole drama bit), or none of them? Or one of them?! I really wouldn’t mind having more than 6 BM’s, but I don’t want 1 and 2 to tear each others’ throats out. I’d like my wedding day to be a happy experience!! I’m not even sure that I will feel at ease on that day if Friend 2 is a Bridesmaid or Best Man. But I don’t want to sacrifice having Friend 1 by my side because I don’t want to ask Friend 2.
You see the dilemma! But I have faith that you ladies will have some very wise words for me. 🙂 Thanks so much, in advance.