(Closed) Your biggest question re: pregnancy/babies

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Great idea dumpling!

I haven’t had my Dirty Delete yet but I have been to a child birth before. One thing I can say is that the mama should bring some entertainment for themselves just in case their labor is an all-nighter. Things like magazines. books, ipod etc. can be very useful. I know I will be bringing my iPod, my Nintendo DSi along with bokks and such to get me through the day if I end up having a long labor. My sister was in labor for 24 hours before her first child was born and she didn’t bring anything but my family with her. You can only talk for so long (even us women)  🙂

Post # 4
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I’m a bit confused about whether you’re looking for advice from mom’s or questions any woman has about pregnancy/childbirth, but if it’s the latter, here’s my #1 pressing question.

It’s a bit ridic but…I really want to know what percentage of women need to have their nether bits snipped/experience serious destruction of that area after having a vaginal birth!  First I was all about getting a scheduled C-section because I don’t want to ruin my vajay–I think that’s understandable.  But then I started reading about/watching natural births and learned that you still need an epidural/IV/etc for a C-section because hospitals are just like that, and I have extremely intense needle fear!  I started thinking, wow, a natural pain-killer free birth looks amazing.  Ladies who really work hard to prep for it and had no complications with their birth seem so calm and relatively pain-free, and they get to fully experience their birth as they seem to be so in control of it, not vulnerable women lying on tables surrounded by a million strangers, with needles in their arms (NEEDLES Cry).  But do they frequently rip their vajays apart in the process?  Surprised

 

So that is my question.  How many women experience significant changes down there, to the point that sex is extremely different/uncomfortable/feels like a hotdog being thrown down a hallway (I’m so crude), if they have vaginal births?  And do women who opt for non-hospital, pain killer-free births experience more or fewer complications than those that give birth in a hospital with pain killers?  

Post # 5
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would suggest that she invest in LOTS of lotion and use it ALL THE TIME. I don’t know about ya’ll but multiple women have told me that the only reason they don’t have stretch marks is because they constantly put lotion on. Something I am most defintley going to do when we have children! lol

Oh and my chiropractor had pamphlets about going while you’re pregnant can help the come out easier and less painful.

One question I have is what kind of work outs can you do? 

 

By the way thanks for starting this thread!

Post # 6
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

How long does it take to get back in shape?
Fathers often don’t feel that involved until the baby actually comes.. How to include him in the pregnency part?
How bad are the cravings, really? And the mood swings? How do you make it liveable for your husband?

@Veganglam, I was also worried about that. I always said I wanted a C-section, but we can’t have them in Canada unless it’s for medical reasons. I also learned that there’s more risk for the mommy and baby that way; and that they cut through muscle so it’s way harder to get back into shape… So I guess we’ll have to deal with the ripping and bleeding and sowing..

Post # 7
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Yeah, I was really deterred by a lot of the risks associated with C-sections!  Like the chance of cutting the baby, or the fact that they cut your uterus open then staple you back together…for someone who is EXTREMELY squeamish, that’s just a no-go.  If I could just push for a few hours then plop the thing right out, I could deal with the pain, just as long as no one’s incising and stapling me (or potentially nicking my newborn’s face).  I was born via C-section and my mom spoke highly of it, but then she was in the hospital in labor for THREE DAYS before they decided to cut me out, so maybe the relief has something to do with her praise of the procedure.

Post # 8
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Wow, this thread is really making me feel sick to my stomach..

 

Post # 9
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I was wondering the same thing that veganglam was wondering.  Im all for an elective c-section…Im not squeamish, afrais of needles and surgeries, etc.

Also Dumpling, I WOULD have wondered about all of the “unglamorous” apecrts of pregnancy that the cushy books dont tell you about. I mean, we gotta know what to expect…  This thread here on the bee answered a LOT of those questions lol

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/things-my-mama-never-told-me-joys-of-pregnancy

 

Post # 10
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yeah um, Mrs Dumpling, I feel like your blog has opened my mind to all the “wonders” of motherhood and pregnancy…ie all the scary stuff, haha.

Post # 11
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@ veganglam-I have not had any babies yet, but have watched a few documentaries and read about natural births.  From what I understand, the likelihood of needing an episiotomy seems to be greater when women are given epidurals and pitocin.  I guess the woman is in less control of her body and when she should be pushing, and the entire process could be rushed which can lead to tearing and the need for snipping.  I might be completely wrong, and I might be getting my information from all kinds of biased midwifery sources, but that’s what I’ve heard!

Post # 12
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Mrs Dumpling, I would put together a breakdown of labor for her.  Not all women go to birth classes or read the literature before giving birth, and most have a completely unrealistic view of birth that they’ve gotten from the media.

I.e. Oops, my water broke, I guess labor starts now, we better RUSH to the hospital before the baby pops out!

vs.

Ow, contraction.  Ow, contraction.  Ow, contraction.  (8 hours later…) OOWW.  CONTRACTION!  (4 hours later…)  OW!!  I NEED TO PUSH!  PLEASE LET ME PUSH!!  PLEASE GOD!!  (Water breaks)  (1 hour later…) PUUUUUUSH!! (30 minutes later) Aw baby is here!  (Meanwhile the doctor is massaging the uterus, delivering the afterbirth, etc).

A short description of the three stages of labor and how long they typically last would be good, she sounds busy enough not to be able to take classes or read a lot about it.

OH!  And definitely a little blurb about pre-term labor and how to tell!  My baby class had a girl who lost her baby at 32 weeks because she didn’t know she was in pre-term labor.  Cry

Post # 13
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I want to know how long before the vajayjay goes back to normal?  And how do you wipe after #2 when you are all torn apart down there?  I mean some people tear all the way right?

And if you are short like me…how do you drive a car?  I mean if I had to move my seat back to accomodate my belly, how would my feet reach the pedals?

And really…how bad is the discharge?  Am I going to feel nasty and smelly all the time?

Post # 14
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

There are things that you, your midwife/doc can do to help eliminate the need for episiotomy.  One of the best things is to have a healthy sized baby which you can help with by making sure that you at least walk 2 miles 2xs weekly while you are pregnant.  Exercise babies are leaner and less likely to need an episiotomy or tear the mom.

There are also some massage techniques frequently used by midwifes and partners in prep for birth that I won’t go into here.

Finally, with a C-section, though you may not have an episiotomy, it is a trade off to other issues that are equivalently distressing through recovery.

Post # 15
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

@veganglam:

Approx. 50% of women who birth vaginally get an episiotomy. That said, many times those are performed “because that’s what is done” rather  than due to medical need. There is a medical device called the Epi-no (available in Europe and Canada) which trains your body to stretch more so that can reduce the epi rate to about 15%. Mrs. Avocado posted about it on her personal blog.

Other things you can do to help avoid tearing or an episiotomy are to make the staff aware that you are concerned about it. One woman I read about made a big sign that said “I (heart) my perineum!” which was a non-pushy way to get the staff to support her goals. Also, breathing or singing through labor and pushing at your own pace help reduce the rate (pushing when the doctor says and counting to 10 actually makes it worse). 

Post # 16
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

@DG: Correct me if I’m wrong, but they don’t cut your abdominals during a c-section, right?  They cut through skin, fatty tissue, then spread the abdominals to get to the uterus?  (Not that it makes a c-section any easier to recover from, or less dangerous to go through…)

Also the hotdog in a hallway myth is man-made.  I mean MAN – made.  You don’t stay stretched out for the rest of your life…guys are dumb.  That would be like a guy getting an erection and then it stayed that way.  The human body is designed to flex and retract, it’ll go back!

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