(Closed) Your child is not invited…what is so hard about that?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 137
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Zhabeego:  Eh I think it’s funny. I rarely find bloggers who are honest about the boring/scary parts of motherhood and as someone who isn’t sure about having kids they make me feel better. If you need a blog as ONE example where people rag on parents, you can look at STFUparents.com. That’s pretty funny too.

Post # 138
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@bklynbridetobe:  The word “breeder” is so repulsive and sexist. It’s almost exclusively applied to women and is in keeping with the whole cultural trend of comparing pregnant women to animals, especially cows.

I don’t appreciate sanctimommy-ness as much as the next person, but it never hurts to think about where other people are coming from. I totally agree that a child should not be at an evening soiree, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have sympathy for the parents. 

Post # 139
Member
5373 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I love how you responded! I seriously can’t wait to find out what happens next. She sounds so manipulative and self-absorbed!

Post # 140
Member
1866 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

LOL at this nutty woman’s persistence. You handled that so much better than I would have! Can’t wait to hear her response. 

Post # 141
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I totally agree!! We are putting “adult reception only” on our invitations. Every family thinks their children is the exception (you can’t possibly feel that way about MY child!)… The only kids I want to attend are our nieces/nephews. If we let one family member bring their children, that leaves another family member offended and upset that they could it bring theirs

Post # 142
Member
12480 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Off topic, but  it is completely appropriate to invite children of immediate family members only, while excluding all other children.  I’ve never understood those that would invite only those children who are in the wedding party  while excluding those who are related in exactly the same way.  To me that’s totally bizarre.  

I know people like this drive everyone crazy, but I don’t believe in writing Adult’s Reception on an invitation. Invitations are meant to invite and offer hospitality, not to exclude. For the true boors it won’t make a difference, as we see in this case. But  if there’s someone you’re especially nervous about, call and ask if they have a sitter or need help finding one.  Or have family members “casually” ask if they have found child care.  

 @Zhabeego:  “Hosts don’t need an excuse to exclude children from events. If they don’t want to invite them, they are not obligated to do so. Guests are free to accept or decline any invitation but they are not entitled to challenge, attempt to change or demand exceptions or explanations about the terms of the invitation.”

That sums it up perfectly.  And if someone has the nerve to ask, you can have the nerve to say no!


Post # 143
Member
1369 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Syzygy88:  The lady feels like shit and is beating herself up because she left a teething baby at home with a sitter – that’s a scary part of parenting?!?! Please. If I’m ever waivering about whether or not I should have kids – I read a blog like this.

 

OP – GOOD FOR YOU! You’ve handled this situation with a lot more class than I could be able to – and better than a lot of people I know.

Post # 145
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@March1stBride:  Because for some reason weddings seem to be the one event that parents believe that their kid needs to be dragged along. That you surely cannot mean their precious angel who behaves and is so cute when they are the “life of the party”. In this case the couple is being ridiculous and it sounds like they are trying to use your wedding to show off their baby as they have no qualms about keeping said child with a nanny when they are away on the weekend. Tell them no, nicely. It drives me crazy sometimes. I think my response might be a little harsh but I feel pretty grumpy today.

Just saw your update and if they are pushing it then sometimes you have to be blunt. Though I don’t think that was rude 🙂

Post # 146
Member
1833 posts
Buzzing bee

Well, he put a stop to that one now, didn’t he?

Post # 147
Member
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@March1stBride:  Ugh. That’s ridiculous. I would just say “Sorry, we do mean infants. If you feel uncomfortable about leaving your child at home, then we understand why you cannot come to our wedding.”

My fiance’s cousin is having a baby about 3-4 months before our wedding and I’m making it perfectly clear that no children, including babies can come to our wedding. Period.

Post # 148
Member
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I don’t get it either. Newborns? Fine, they’re hard to leave (which isn’t to say I wouldn’t WANT a break). But I do. not. understand. why people want/need/think it’s ok to bring their kids to every damn event.

So irritating!

ETA: Your husband’s response was swoon-worthy!!!! LOVE it!

Post # 149
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee

@March1stBride:  LOL, I love your FI’s response.  But you are firm on your rules, and the man and his wife needs to get that. Seems like the only way they’ll get that is to be blunt with them, and  your Fiance was.  Keep us updated

Post # 150
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@March1stBride:  Amazing!!!!!!  I’ve always wanted to put someone in their place like that, but I’m not that clever or quick witted.  Tell your Fiance, Way to go!

Post # 151
Member
10452 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Hahaha that’s amazing! Good for him! I can’t believe these people.

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