(Closed) Your child is not invited…what is so hard about that?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 167
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

I love your FI’s response! I mean did these people honestly think they are that important that you were going to change the rules just for them? Douchebags.

Post # 168
Member
12490 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I understand FI’s frustration, really I do. But since you ask,I will go against the crowd and say IMO he went  too far. I always treat people individually, even members of a married couple. This was not the wife calling or writing  your husband yet again, it was her H (FI’s former step-father and father of his half-brother). It is possible he had no real clue about his wife’s previous attempts to coerce an invitation for the baby or the nanny or her extreme rudeness and aggressiveness in the process. 

He may not know  that she already asked and was answered once, let alone TWICE. Or that your response was completely unambiguous.   Despite the fact that it’s rude of him to  ask even the one time, FI’s response may have come as quite a shock if he didn’t know the whole back story. 

IMO, it’s always better to take the high road.  You never want people to have the excuse to twist a story and bad mouth you.  I know a lot of people say who cares about what someone like that tells people or thinks, but you just never know. 

Post # 169
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

[comment moderated for name calling]

Post # 170
Member
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

@weddingmaven:  sometimes extremes have to be met with extremes. If you say no once, twice, three times and the message still isn’t being recieved then it’s time to really slam the door. Plus, if he wasn’t aware of how rude and pushy his own wife was being then he has bigger problems. Maybe *if* he wasn’t aware of what she was doing, now he is. He can be mad at his wife for not only being so rude and pushy but also for doing it behind his back. My opinion is that it was handled as gracefully as possible… until enough was enough.

 

Post # 171
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@stardustintheeyes:  +1

I think the ex-step dad absolutely knew what his wife was doing which is why she didn’t reply to the last email and instead he called the house hoping to get a different answer.  There is no reasoning with people like that, and if “taking the high road” and trying to be pleasant doesn’t work, well then you have to get your point across one way or another.

Post # 172
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I can’t believe this couple had the audacity to try to circumvent you after you specifically said no twice (or three times if you count the fact that they already knew kids weren’t invited from the get go). My Fiance would totally have done the same thing at that point. They deserved it and I’m glad he told them to leave you alone. This was crazy.

Post # 173
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Your fiance rocks!

Post # 174
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

OMG I love everything about this thread. It’s amazingggggg. I don’t think anyone has raised this point, but I have the feeling that ex-stepdad and his wife feel entitled to bring the kid bc the ex-stepdad’s son is in the wedding party. So they probably feel more important then they actually are. I can’t believe they were even invited to begin with. ANDDDD I’m sorry, but this new wife must be pretty young if she has an infant, but the husband has a son old enough to be in the wedding party? *throws shade*

Post # 175
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

that email was rude! we are doing the same thing buuuut we are making an exception for immediate family (my FI’s brother’s kids who are 9 & 13) The way I feel is if they have a problem with it they dont have to come and I dont have to pay for them. If they are that neurotic they can stay home with the “should be an exception” kid

Post # 176
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Philadelphia, PA

I love your FI’s response!  Hopefully they are finally able to take the hint and the wife will stop nagging you about it!

Post # 177
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@March1stBride:  perfect response! They had been told politely already and they needed someone to be blunt. +10 to your Fiance

Post # 178
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Oh my this is so entertaining! we are having an Adult only Ceremony and Reception as well…I cant believe the nerve of some people!

Post # 179
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@March1stBride:  BRA-FUCKIN-VO to your fiance! Round of applause for him and his lack of tact and telling them straight how it is. You guys have a million and one OTHER things  to worry about than a ex-stepfather and the newbie wife and irritating ass baby. UGH! Good for him!

Post # 180
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@chronicwhimsy:  +1 Smile

It may not have been the most polite way to put it, but you did your best– in the face of rudeness and extreme passive aggressiveness– to tell them politely. Twice. They then went over your head to appeal to Fiance. If they didn’t want to hear it, they should have heard you the first two times.

Post # 181
Member
5272 posts
Bee Keeper

@March1stBride:  Awesome updated!!!! Your fiance is the best!! Sometimes people just need to hear things bluntly for them to get it!!

 

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