Your child is not invited…what is so hard about that?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
5374 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Wow, that’s a really pushy/annoying email! Since the baby is older and has already spent time away from the parents, I don’t think the baby should be an exception.

Post # 18
1797 posts
Buzzing bee

@March1stBride:  I can understand completely why you don’t want kids to be there especially as you are both teachers. I’m a nanny, and when I am off from work I want to actually be off from work! Even the most careful parents sometimes don’t realize what kind of situation they are going to put their babies into when they are going out, especially newer parents. I don’t mean new parents are dumb by any means, but they don’t realize how much they are going to want to wind down when they finally have a night away from the baby, or a night out even with the baby. As a nanny, I’ve seen so, so, so many parents get wasted at weddings after saying, “I’m just going to have one or two drinks.” I’ve been to parties where I’ve sat and watched parents ignore the children who are there because they are drinking and socializing, and then it becomes my problem to keep an eye on every child in the room. I am sure that as a teacher you have an eye for these issues just like I have an eye for when something is up at a party or get together as a nanny, and that could potentially put a damper on your wedding night. I wouldn’t want to see a child running around, or a baby that is being ignored by mom and dad who are drinking. I would just feel personally responsible for all children who are at my wedding even the ones being well taken care of. 

Post # 19
6526 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013


@March1stBride:  I agree with @WillowTreeWade:  I saw your post about the Nanny after I posted. thats annoying. You can pay the nanny to stay with the baby for a vacation but not for one night? Give me a break. Now I think shes 10 times more rude because she seriously thinks her kid can be an exception to the rule.

Post # 20
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@newname_99:  I agree with you. If the baby is 0-6 months old (or even under 1 year) I would make an exception.

I do think the email was a little rude. They are really making it clear that they think there is no way you would say no to them. They are putting you on the spot, trying to make you feel bad for saying no.

Stick with your guns on this but keep in mind that guests with babies under 1 year will have a harder time with this than guests who have a 5 year old.

Post # 21
4435 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@March1stBride:  It’s hard leaving a breastfeeding baby- we left ours alone for the first time around 9 months to attend a wedding actually! I think you are being totally respectful- you have a very pushy guest! You understand some people may not attend of they can’t leave baby and are fine with that- what more can your guests ask of you? It’s your wedding, your rules! Some brides get mad if guests with babies can’t attend due to no kids rule, which I don’t agree with- it’s a two way street. You are being totally fair- I hope the rest of your guests are not so pushy!!

Post # 22
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

We had an adults only wedding, and one couple with a two-month old were excited to have a “date night”- “This is the only time we’re getting out of the house for awhile!”

Post # 23
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We’re having a child free wedding minus my bridesmaids baby who will then be 2 months old. The baby is going to be in the nursery with her husband during the ceremony (sorry, no crying babies for me), and we’re just going to have places for her to go nurse quietly at other times.

To be honest, an older baby can be left with a sitter. Under 4 months though… if you want the mother there, that’s sort of a unit. 

Post # 25
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@March1stBride:  Wow. How passive aggressive was that email! You go girl! I completely agree with you.

Post # 26
26 posts
  • Wedding: April 2013

seriously, what is WRONG with people!

Post # 27
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@March1stBride:  What an obnoxious email. I hope you don’t cave I also don’t get why people think there should be an exception for infants. If you don’t want to or can’t leave them with a sitter, decline the invitation and stay home.

Post # 28
8440 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@March1stBride:  We had the same issue, late night wedding, full open bar, and not kid friendly.  We just made our wedding extremely adult themed (i.e. quotes from Archer, It’s Always Sunny, etc., in our programs, menus, etc) and told the parents if they wanted to explain what all these sayings/phrases meant, they were welcome to bring their kid.  We ended up allowing 2 infants to attend because the parents were traveling from another state and the kids couldn’t read yet.

Post # 29
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Jeez. Don’t you know that it was fair of her to assume that ‘No kids’ actually means-except for infants/babies/special snowflakes/cutest kid in the universe. Just apologize profusely and tell her that that all wouldn’t fit on the invitation; OF COURSE her baby is welcome. Obviously.

Lol-I hate people like that. And even if your kid IS under 6 month. And you can’t leave them, that just means that you can’t come, not that they can come too. 

Im a religious reader of STFU Parents blog-you should check it out 🙂

Post # 30
9132 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@March1stBride:  Well that’s extra annoying if the baby’s older and they have a FULL TIME NANNY.  Gimme a break.  

I would just write back something like, “No, sorry, it’s an adults-only reception, so no children or babies.  We hope you and Husband can still make it!”

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