(Closed) Your experience with Tinder

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I went on about 50 online app dates before I found my ex-bf (took 6 months) and then another 50 dates before I found my fiancé. It works but it’s a numbers game at times and certainly frustrating too.  I had so many bad date stories but also met great guys and eventually, my fiancé on Tinder. Good luck!

Post # 3
Member
6241 posts
Bee Keeper

We met on tinder. 

It was old one so I don’t know about ‘super likes’. 

Here’s what I can tell you though…

– like any other dating facility you have to dedicate some time each day to it to reply and get things moving with matches you like

– unlike other options I like the fact that no one can bother you unless you ‘swipe’ them 

– it doesn’t allow you to get judgy on detail. It get criticised for being asthetics based but actually as you can’t dictate height etc it does mean you might match brilliantly with someone who you may have ruled out on other sites. 

– personally I wrote a short little thing for my profile making it clear what I was after. I only replied to those with appealing write ups.

– I know it’s got a hook up reputation and certainly handy for that, but I found plenty of guys with open honest profiles who DID want a relationship and something serious not just a hook up.  You just have to use your wits and sense to sort the two quickly.

– usual online dating stuff applies i.e. Chat online, move to call and meet fairly speedily. No point messaging someone for ages who you end up having no spark or messing around. 

Whenever online dating posts pop up on weddingbee I always recommend this guy. I was told about him and was a bit ‘urgh’ some American cheesy dating guru but actually I found his advice really straightforward and helped me get clear on where I wanted to go. Loads of free stuff to download and read on his blog. 

New Homepage

Post # 4
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2021

Hahaha I’ve had some good dates and some s*** dates too. I’m still looking and have just deleted tinder and the other dating site I was on. I just need a mental break from all the crazy.  

But I did used it as a learning curve. Find out what I’m willing to put up with and what I’m not. I’ve got my confidence back. 

One date was so horrible that I ended up saying “my lips are so dry I’m just going to get my lip balm out of the car” and left. He was an asshole. This is not normally something I’d do. But I have never been insulted so many times and there is no way I needed to stay in that type of situation. He did text me and asked where I was. I just replied that my lip gloss was at home. I lived 40mins away. 

 

Other dates have have been great but we were better suited as friends. No spark even after the third date etc. so still waiting. Just always be sure to put on your profile what you’re about. (Looking for something more than hook ups and ONS). 

Post # 5
Member
44 posts
Newbee

I was on Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, POF, CoffeeMeetBagel, anything you could imagine! I met my current SO on Tinder but went on a lot of good dates and some crummy dates with a lot of guys from every app/site for two years before I met him. 

I met one guy that I thought was the real deal, but we went on one date and then he didn’t talk to me for a whole year until he wanted to see if I could hook him up with football tickets for the school I worked for. I met another guy who was nice and we went out a few times but then got SUPER clingy. I dated a guy who had just gotten divorced (like two months before we met), I looked just like his ex, and he had a fetish. I’ve had a few “just here for hook ups” in my time and that was okay too. 

My current boyfriend was perfect for me. We matched, I messaged him first, and it was instant chemistry. We laughed the entire time we were on our first date and I felt like I was talking to someone I had known for years. And a year later, that’s how it still feels. He’s basically me in guy form and everything I’ve ever looked for in a human. 

Just follow your gut and be yourself! And tell Steve the 50-year-old bus driver to hit the road! haha

Post # 6
Member
430 posts
Helper bee

I met my Fiance on Tinder two and a half years ago and we are getting married on our third anniversary!

I only went on five or so dates in the year I had it, but I also was doing Match at the time too. Like you, there wasn’t much of a spark with the guys I met, but I had a really good feeling about my now Fiance – the conversation was effortless and we had a lot in common, so I was excited for our first date. It (obviously) went well and the rest is history! 

While it is thought of to be a hook-up app, I think you definitely get out what you put in. You can tell pretty early on what people are after, but sometimes you just have to read between the lines. 

Post # 7
Member
1247 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Hey I met my Fiance there. It was love at first swipe and his opening line was “Hi” ❤️ Swoon, right? Hahaha. I went on some baaaad dates too though. Like the guy who wanted to sit on the same side of the booth and hold hands the entire time. Dude how do you expect me to cut my chicken with one hand!? Or the ones who are only there for one thing. 

I was probably on tinder for 4-5 months. But I didn’t take it very seriously til the last month or so. After I went on the first date with my now Fiance, I deleted my app. And he did too 😊

I feel like the majority of the guys on tinder are there for just one reason….. But there will still be some who are genuinely looking to connect with someone. It does happen! Good luck bee!! 

Post # 8
Member
670 posts
Busy bee

Was on Tinder 4 months when I met DH! Met about 6 guys, nothing disastrous just complete lack of spark. Met a guy who I went on several dates with but he was quite moody & im not into drama. After him I was going to delete it but changed my mind, literally swiped right on Monday while sitting in a coffee shop. Matched with DH, chatted for the day he rang me on the Wednesday, date on the Thursday! 2 years later – married! 

 

Post # 9
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion

View original reply
beeintraining5 :  Keep trying. It’s like shopping at TJ Maxx. There is a lot of junk there, but you can find some amazing bargains too. I went on an online dating binge after I broke up with my last BF (a little over two years ago). One week I think I went on three Tinder dates and two OKCupid dates. I met my husband on Tinder after being on the app for about a month and a half to two months, and we had an amazing first date and moved very quickly. You are 22 so I’m sure your experience will be different, but my husband and I were both coming out of long-term relationships that had been bad for a while (he was going through a divorce; thankfully, I never married my ex-BF), so we had both been around the block and knew what we wanted. We got married about a year and a half after your first date. Be patient and you’ll find someone great! 

Post # 10
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I met my fiance on Tinder. It was the only “dating” app I ever used and used it casually for about 10 months, mostly meeting guys for a drink after work or meeting up with our groups of friends.

I went on a bunch of dates, but, in my experience most guys use tinder for one thing ….and it’s not a serious relationship…. My now fiance messaged me at 2 am (after he had been out with his friends drinking lol), that next day we messaged back and forth and he asked me to go to a sporting event later that week. At first I didn’t think anything of it, as I’ve had the same back and forth a million times with these guys, but ,the second I saw him I knew he was “the one” and I got that feeling that people tell you about but I never believed in. He proposed 2.5 years later and we’re getting married right before our 4 year anniversary

Post # 11
Member
4403 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I met my DH on Tinder! I started online dating in August, met him in the middle of November. I’d say I went on maybe 15 dates in that time. Talked to hundreds of guys. Our first date was good, but not life changing! But our 2nd date was amazing! After that we knew we weren’t going to be dating around any more and deleted our apps. We were exclusive after the 3rd date, moved in together after 1 year, engaged at 1.5 years and married right after our 2nd anniversary. He said he knew I was the woman he was going to marry on our 2nd date. We’ve been married 8 months. I am so thankful for online dating! He is my person! 

Post # 12
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

View original reply
beeintraining5 :  here’s my two cents. Dating sucked. I went on MANY MANY MANY first dates and I just about gave up. I tried several dating apps including tinder and most men sucked, or they were commitophobes, or they were jerks who ghosted. I was just about to delete the tinder app when I saw my future hubby and swiped right….lol sounds cheesy I know. We talked right away and then he called me that day and we talked for 3 hours. We knew it right away. We got engaged 3.5 months later. And it turns out he was going to give up too and he saw me like I saw him! It was meant to be though, so I think we would have met by other means if we hadn’t used tinder. 

Post # 13
Member
2346 posts
Buzzing bee

I met my SO on Tinder.

I had noticed that the guys I felt bored by all had the same profile that listed things about them that pretty much EVERYONE shares in common. Like, “I love dogs, and spending time with friends.” I was like… sooo… you’re NOT a psychopath? Thanks for clearing that up, and telling me absolutely nothing about yourself…

So I highlighted all of the things about me that I think make me unique, and met SO within a few months. 

All told, we were both on Tinder (and other dating apps like Hinge and Bumble) for about a year each before meeting each other. I had gone out on dates with… ~10 people before SO, and I think his number was about the same. 

The way I approached it was that the matching part was a numbers game. Match with as many guys as possible. From there, I’d make sure to spend ~ an hour each night going through recent matches and messaging the ones who seemed particularly interesting and replying to the guys I was already chatting with.

But I used the chatting as a filter. I didn’t go out with guys who immediately asked for a date. I just ghosted them – too eager, and I was looking for someone who valued their own time enough to want to ensure there was SOME sort of connection before wasting both our time with a date.

Which is why I only went out with about 10 guys in a year. 

SO was immediately different that all the previous junk guys. He was respectful, his questions and answers were well thought out and in-depth,and he waited until we have actively chatted for HOURS before asking me out on a date – and it was a date tailored to my stated interests in my profile, so I knew he had put a lot of thought into it. 

Like PP, he and I both had hit fatigue and were getting ready to delete the apps when we met each other. You just gotta hang in there and choose the ones you go on dates with wisely to avoid burnout.

Post # 14
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2017

im still unkeen on the prospect of internet dating, maybe not the whole concept, but certainly sites designed for hook ups etc, like tinder originally was

Post # 15
Member
1594 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
beeintraining5 :  DH and I met on Tinder.. also before the “super like” was a thing. 

I matched with probably 200 people before matching with DH..this was over the course of probably 4 months (and admittedly a few drunk swyping sessions..ha).

Probably 90% of the people I matched with were idiots that didn’t make it past a first conversation. 

I went out with probably 5-6 guys I met on Tinder before I went out with DH. I actually ignored Dh’s first message because I was on a date with someone else..but he was persistent and sent me a second message. He had only been on Tinder about 2 weeks and I was the first and only person he actually met in person, but said he had a few good conversations with girls before me.

I liked that I had to swype right in order for someone to message me..because I’d been on another free dating website before and I was swarmed with messages from people I had no interest in. I assume the whole “super like”  means the person can message you even if you don’t swype right? Do you get a limited number of “super likes”? Just curious!

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