Your feedback on this timeline?

posted 1 week ago in Babies
  • poll: Is this a reasonable timeline?
    Yes girl! Go for it.. : (5 votes)
    50 %
    Actually--you haven't considered XYZ. Change it up in this way (and I'll share deets in comments) : (5 votes)
    50 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    6322 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    brideonthedancefloor :  What if it takes you 6+ months or 1+ years to conceive? Just something to consider. Unfortunately, as much as you want to plan when a baby will come, you can’t guarantee it.

    Post # 3
    Member
    7778 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    It’s fine to have a general guideline but you should keep in mind that the older you are, the harder it can be to conceive. My first two kids were conceived on the first try. My third attempt in my later 30’s ended in a miscarriage and then it took 10 months after that to even get a positive pregnancy test. I was able to have a third baby eventually. But my two youngest are 5 years apart instead of 3 like I would have liked. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    6322 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    brideonthedancefloor :  I honestly don’t think you need to change much. You’re not the only one who is affected by this. Will you both be financially ready to buy a house a year after marriage? Could you be ready sooner and take your honeymoon right after your wedding? Is your boyfriend wanting kids soon? What’s his timeline? What do you want to accomplish before you start trying? What does he want to accomplish?

    Post # 7
    Member
    224 posts
    Helper bee

    I honestly think your rough timeline sounds fine. You can always change things down the line if you feel like it. For example you may feel ready to TTC sooner than you originally planned, or the reverse could happen.

    We wound up moving up our TTC #1 timeline by about six months cause we just felt ready sooner than we thought we would. Meanwhile the opposite seems to be happening re: TTC #2 right now lol with us pushing that timeline back from what we’d originally thought. So yeah never a bad idea to touch base with your partner on this stuff but don’t feel like you have to lock into anything now either!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1253 posts
    Bumble bee

    Honestly, at this point of not even being engaged yet and only together a year(?), I would concentrate only on an engagement timeline and discuss at what age you want to TTC no.1, naturally coming the conclusion that the wedding and house buying comes in between those two events. I think anything further is essentially pointless right now. 

    If my husband had come to me with a timeline this plentiful and specific before we’d even gotten engaged I would not have been able to talk about the vast majority of it. The variables are just too great. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    517 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    Agree with PP’s. My advice is since you already own your home you can be flexible with buying a house together. I’d TTC on the honeymoon if you guys are ready. Then buy a house together when it makes sense. You’ll have 40 weeks till the baby which is plenty of time to look for a house if you are ready. FH knows I want to have our first baby when I am 31, that I want three and to have some spacing between them and he’s on board. I have baby fever and just want him to get me pregnant already lol 14 ish months to go! hahaha

    FH and I talked about what age we wanted to TTC and the rest just fell in to place. “So I have been thinking about how we both want two kids, How old do you want to be when we have the first one? I’m almost 30 so obviously thinking about fertility and stuff. I was thinking maybe X age so that then there could be a 2 or 3 year gap depending and try and be done before late 30’s.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2214 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    That is a lot of detail! I would just focus on engagement, moving in, wedding, ttc. In my experience, the discussion about hypothetically ttc #2 came about very naturally and organically once we started talking seriously about ttc #1. The same should be the case with honeymoon and all that. 

    Do you think he wants to get engaged and married soon? Since you have only been together for a year? I would try to gauge that before springing a super detailed timeline on him.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1253 posts
    Bumble bee

    brideonthedancefloor :  If he’s the right person for you and wants these things in life too, you don’t have to worry about planning them so finely. They will absolutely fall into place naturally. Let us know how the chat goes!

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