Post # 16
I am such a type A person it’s not even funny, and love knowing what is ahead, but honestly, sometimes you just have to take one step at a time and roll with the punches. Your timeline looks fine but you never know how life is going to plan out.
Post # 17
brideonthedancefloor : I don’t want to repeat a lot of what has been said already, but had one thing to add – is more than a year engagement necessary? Unless it’s really important to you to have a big fancy wedding, you really don’t need to have that much time to plan. If you’re set on a late summer wedding, maybe get engaged in the next 2-4 months and go for summer 2020 – you could easily plan smaller wedding in that time. That’s where I’d cut some time if you want to bump up your timeline a bit.
Also, I might consider having kids a bit closer together if you think that is financially/emotionally realistic for you. I had my first a bit later than planned due to some trouble conceiving and because of that, we started trying a bit sooner for #2 and ended up easily conceiving that one, so they are 20 months apart. In some ways it’s challenging, but it’s really awesome too. They are a toddler and preschooler now and they’re best buddies (most of the time, ha).
Post # 18
Personally, I would not go to him with this timeline. It gives me anxiety and I’m a type A planner.
I would start with the engagement and general ideas of when you’d like to be pregnant, etc.
Post # 19
brideonthedancefloor : I’d focus on the wedding and the baby making – the rest can sort of fill in as you see how life works out. You don’t need to buy a new place together before having a kid even if it’d be preferable. Once you have the first see how you’re feeling for the next kid! You may decide to move it up, push it off, or even decide you’re one and done.
Post # 20
I’m ALL about timelines and plans 🙂 My husband and I actually sped things up after the wedding because we got a lot of money as wedding gifts and he got a promotion, so we were ready to buy a house sooner than we thought. We got married July 2018 and we orginially thought Spring 2020 for a house and 2021 for kids. Instead we offically bought our home in April 2019 and we are now TTC! Everything fell into place pretty nicely for us, now we’re just hoping for a positive pregnancy test! So things can definitely work out for you! Just remember to stay in the moment sometimes and appreciate each step in your journey 🙂
The only thing I’d say about your timeline is if you feel ready earlier than fall 2022 to start trying then I would. I’m part of a few TTC groups and SO many women take many many months or even years to conceive. That’s part of the reason we decided to try sooner.
Post # 21
- Wedding: September 2011 - Boy #1 12/2015, boy #2 02/2018
I would probably try a little sooner for baby #2. It’s up to you and how you feel. You never know how long it will take. Good luck!
Post # 22
- Wedding: June 2019 - Turkey
Just flow with the wind. Life is really unpredictable. If guys are sure of your love and commitment, you don’t have to wait X amount of time to get engaged or Y amount of time to get married until wedding, TTC, etc.
Post # 23
Like others hae said, I am very type A, and if my partner came to me with a timeline like this, I’d be sort of freaked out…like he’d been planning our lives without my knowledge.
I do think it’s 1000% reasonable to keep a few things on the list and present them. Not to stereotype (my husband does like 95% of the traditional wife things in our house), but I think that it’s easier (on whole) for men to not be as focused on the finer details of timelines until it’s pointed out. If you want a kid at 33, that means conceiving it at 32 (they take almost a year to grow), and if you want to enjoy a year of marriage first that means being married at 31, and it takes a year to plan a wedding, so that means getting engaged at 30.
But house buying and kid #2? I’d hold off on that for now.
Post # 24
brideonthedancefloor : probably best to have one child and then see
A few of my girlfriends at work said oh I’m having 4 kids but after one stopped
Post # 25
I am in my late 20s but started dating my fiance in my mid twenties and we have discussed a timeline plenty of times, especially because he’s a few years older than me and doesn’t want to be a super old dad. Our timeline ended up being about a year off but it’s all good….its just a starting point and a healthy conversation to have. Life happens.
The only thing I’d maybe consider is starting earlier TTC for #2. I’m not an expert and have no experience but I’ve heard TTC early thrities vs late thirties can be totally different.
Post # 26
I am also Type A, but think your timeline is too much. Have you spoken to your S.O. yet? I definitely had an idea of what age I expected to be when everything happened when D.H. and I were younger and just dating, but all of these conversations ended up happening separately and organically.
Like many PP, I recommend sticking to engagement/wedding timeline while asking when he sees himself having children/what he’d like to accomplish prior to kids. Honeymoon discussions came up once we had our wedding date and we bought our home when we were ready (sooner than I expected). Though we’ve always talked about having a child, I was overwhelmed the first time D.H. brought it up and he was overwhelmed when I first brought it up (years later as I was not ready when he first suggested it). These are each such big things on their own.