(Closed) YOUR Fi's past sex life???

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll:
    Yes, it disgusts me!! : (104 votes)
    18 %
    No, I could careless it was before me : (260 votes)
    45 %
    Yes but it's the past & really doesn't matter : (173 votes)
    30 %
    No but MY past bothers HIM!! : (35 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    3370 posts
    Sugar bee

    @MissSweetiepie:  It doesn’t disgust me, but I don’t care to think about it. So I just don’t. He did, up until last year, work closely with a girl he had previously had sex with less than a year before he met me. When I found out I was a little annoyed that he never mentioned it. I had met her and even though she knew who I was and she knew what my bf’s junk felt like, I had no idea. So that pretty much sucked and I felt kinda like he made me look stupid. Here I am being all nice and friendly to this girl who knows things about my man that I don’t. She doesn’t work there anymore, so it’s water under the bridge at this point.

    Post # 4
    2949 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    To be honest, it doesn’t bother me at all. It’s not something I dwell on but when I do think about, I’m pretty apathetic towards it – just like I am with my own sexual past. It’s like a different lifetime and as long as it doesn’t intrude in our current relationship, then it’s all good.

    Post # 5
    286 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think it bothers me because I’m a virgin and want to stay that way until we are married. he is not. It kills me to think about it honestly but I try to keep in mind it was before he knew me. 

    Post # 6
    9668 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    Well FI’s never had sex with another woman and I have never had sex with another man, but he has performed and received oral sex, and handjobs. I try not to think about that.

    Post # 7
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    It doesn’t bother me at all but then I am very very involved with it. We were FWB for a long time before we got together and actually the other people he has been with (bar a couple) I have been there (I’m talking full sex here) 

    Still wouldn’t bother me if I wasn’t the past sex life.

    Post # 8
    1221 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @MissSweetiepie:  We can talk openly about it, but honestly I’d rather not think about him with other women. When we talk about exes and such I try not to really think about the sexual aspect, although he’s more experienced than me in that arena so sometimes things he’s done with other girls comes up. Yuck.

    Post # 9
    5423 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2012

    When we first got together it didnt bother me, because it was the past.  But we broke up and got back together and there were girls between me.  Im not too fond of that.

    Post # 10
    985 posts
    Busy bee

    It doesn’t worry me to be honest. It’s in the past and if he still wanted to be with the others he would be. If it worries you I would try not to think about it.

    Post # 11
    6355 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Just pointing out, you don’t really have a category in your poll for people whose Fiance was a virgin when they met.

    Post # 12
    4495 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Fiance and I started dating at 15. He literally had no sex life before me 😛

    If he had though I don’t think it would necessarily bother me, but I certainly would not want to think about it. I’m sure your Fiance doesn’t like the thought of you with another man, either. That is why I could never have a threesome. Having the actual real image of my Fiance having sex with another woman is not something I want burned into my brain. No, no, no.

    Post # 13
    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    It isn’t something I spend time thinking about, but it doesn’t bother me. We both have a past, in our case I have more of a past in that sense than him. I would feel a little hypocritical being disgusted by it, I guess.

    Post # 14
    181 posts
    Blushing bee

    Prior experience is only a plus in my book.

    Post # 15
    293 posts
    Helper bee

    It doesn’t bother me in the slightest – we both had full, varied sex lives before we met, and if he still wanted to sleep with a variety of people then he would, but he’s happy with our love life.

    I do get a little jealous thinking about people that he’s been in love with before me, but then I just remind myself that I’m the one he’s with – if he didn’t love me then we wouldn’t be together.

    Post # 16
    1063 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts

    @MissSweetiepie:  Yep we are sort of open with our sexual history. Mine is limited…I only had one sexual partner/boyfriend before him. He of course had multiple partners. I don’t know exactly how many but I do know it was way more than me. And the fact that I see one of them (his child’s mother) it makes me sick thinking about it. 

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