Post # 1
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
A few months ago my Fiance and I discussed who we wanted as an officiant in our wedding. Neither of us are religious and only expect ceremony to be quick. With that being said I asked an older friend of mine, who is a great speaker, to be our officiant. My fiance and I were completely okay with this and thought this would be a great alternative. I love the idea of having someone who knows us marry us. However he lives out of state and he lives a rather risque life. The more I think of it the more I want someone to be serious about the vows were are going to take. Except the friend already agreed to this and has told everyone about it. (Hes so excited). HELP! I don’t know what to do… do I use him or not. Im also thinking of money too, although an officiant is not expensive its something I dont have to pay for in this wedding. Any suggestions?
Post # 2
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee
He can still be ordained out of state, and practice the ceremony (if that’s what you’re worried about). Are you worried about him not showing up? My old friend is our officiant, he lives in CO and we live in FL. Will the ceremony have possibly hiccups? Maybe, but I’m so happy he’s doing it. He already booked his room and flight so we feel pretty sure that he is coming.
Also, I want to add that since we are “saving” on an officiant, we are paying for his hotel room for two nights. You should consider giving some sort of compensation (we are doing an additional gift) for the great service he is performing. It doesn’t have to be huge, but something.
What does “risque” lifestyle mean? If he is a friend of yours, and you really don’t think he would take you seriously, why is your mind suddenly changing now? Did he say something to make you think otherwise?
Post # 3
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee
He can have respect for the vows that you’re making, and still make different choices in his life. I have a friend who has been against the idea of getting married for as long as I’ve known him, but he was thrilled when I got engaged, and I fully plan to ask him to stand up at my wedding. I guess that’s a little different from someone who cheats on his spouse or whatever, but the truth is that you could hire an officiant, and you would have no idea what choices they’re making in their personal life. If he’s excited about it, I’m sure he’ll take it seriously and be great.
Post # 4
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
Where did your friend become ordained? I’ve been looking up ones online but I wasn’t sure what seemed legit. And thats a great suggestion to offer for a room, I would love to do that as well. Risque lifestyle I mean by having a steady girl friend but being in an open relationship seeing multiple other people. I guess my decision changed when I thought about what my family would think or say. But I have faith in him and I know he’s supportive of my relationship. And peridot456 is right, who knows what another officiant would be like in their own personal life that I would have no knowledge about.
doglover89: