Post # 1
Lately my husband has been very miserable at work which then carries into our home lives. Without getting into too many details, the workload has increased in the last few months because the other 2 people he shared the work with, have both quit. There have been and will be quite a lot of changes in the office and will all inpact him/us negatively in the next few months.
So he’s been thinking of taking stress leave. And traveling solo to New Zealand/Australia for a couple months (or 1.5 months so he’s back before Christmas if he leaves soon.) Full disclaimer – I am 110% fine with this and have been encouraging him to do so. He has worked hard at his job for over 13 years and even though we take many 1-2 week long vacations, he really deserves a break to decompress.
I’m just curious as to whether or not you’d be supportive of your SO if he wanted to do this and if your SO would be supportive of you doing it if that was something that you felt you needed to do.
Post # 2
I wouldn’t mind it one bit. I have no reason not trust my partner so if that’s something that would help him then I’d be supportive.
For me, since buying our home…I’ve been having a lot anxiety when home alone. It all started after a false scare one day when I knew he was at work and he came home for his lunch (he never comes home on lunch) so I thought someone was breaking in the house….honesty I’m just really jumpy all the time and the noises creep me out. I would probably have to stay with family while he is gone.
Its almost hard for me to imagine it too because I can’t even get my fiancé to go to a night out with his colleagues on his own lol. He was invited to a Halloween thing but won’t go if I can’t. I can’t since I have other things going on so it looks like he’s staying home with me as usual lmao.
I hope olé this trip does some good for your husband. Hopefully he can come back and feel like he is in a better place. It’s very sweet of you to be supportive.
Post # 3
I don’t think I would be a fan. It would be one thing if my H went on a buddies trip with his friends or took a long weekend and spent it at the beach solo, but to go somewhere that is very far away (I am from the US) and for a month and a half, I would have issues with that. There is a thing about taking some time off to destress, but honestly it sounds like he is just running away from his problems and leaving you to handle everything. I don’t think that is very fair on you.
ETA: And my opinion isn’t about not trusting my H, but more about the far away destination and the length of time.
Post # 4
Yes and no.
If the hubs were a hunter or fisherman or some such hobbyist, and wanted to go out and commune with nature as such (like I want to camp in a tent that long, blech) I would be 100% supportive. If going on such a trip was out of character, I’d push for another vacation/decompression trip idea that would preferably include both of us.
Just my $0.02.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle
No I would not be okay with this. He gets to take a month to decompress on his own and i would have to take care of the kids, house, and work full time? No freakin way.
eta: being military, my husband has spent a lot of time away from home. my answer isn’t about trust because I trust him 100%.
Post # 6
I LOVE when Fiance travels alone! Boy byeeee, I get to clean and know it will still be clean by the next day, watch netflix and just simply have “me” time. 1.5 months is a bit long, but I think with daily communication it could work. My Fiance is in the navy so if he were to ever deploy, there’s nothing I can really do about it except re-do the house as I please and keep active!
Post # 7
A weekend, sure, but a full month? Nope. I love my Fi, i trust him so much, but I would not be okay with him being gone that long, especially being out of the country. As the PP said, I’d stuck being home while he go to “find himself”? No. Way too long in my book. If he wants to run away to a hotel for a weekend in the state, go for it man, i’d completely understand.
Post # 8
I see what you’re saying, however he wouldn’t be leaving me with anything to handle really. The only issue is his job right now and how miserable he is. We’re financially secure and the mortgage and bills would all be paid automatically like usual.
He’s kind of doing that. He would be going climbing and doing his extreme adventure things that I do not enjoy.
Post # 9
Both of you have so neatly summed up my conflicting opinion on this. On one hand I wouldn’t have a problem with him getting away (he’s an avid skiier and has taken off to Colorado several times). He works hard and I get that sometimes he needs to blow of some steam in his own way (and I don’t ski)…. On the other hand the thought of being home cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids with no help or break is just too much to handle (like seriously, there is a special place in heaven for single moms because I couldn’t).
Post # 10
Like other PPs… for a long weekend, or a week? Of course! When November comes around, he’s gone for a week at the beginning for hunting in his home state, and then another week in the middle for hunting in another state.
I like to travel as well, and like to go visit my sister or grandparents every once in awhile and do that by myself. This is usually just a long weekend. I’m sure he’d be fine if I went somewhere for a week, like a girls trip somewhere.
For a month though… that seems like a LONG time. But, if you’re 100% OK with it, then I think it’s OK for him to do.
Post # 11
It is very nice of you to be so supportive. I don’t know if I would….We are all stressed at work. Some days more, some days less.
If my husband decided to up and leave for two whole months I would worry that there is much more to it than just a stressful work environment. If there are no deeper issues I would ask him if he thinks after two months his current stressor would change?
Post # 12
I agree with you! My husband has gone on a few trips on his own or with friends and I absolutely love my alone time! I do miss him when he’s gone of course, and I’d struggle with missing him for that long period of time, however if he’s happy, it will be worth it. Plus we’re lucky that we have Skype and things like that to keep in touch now.
Post # 13
I kinda wondered that. I’m married to a runner and he comes up with some of the goofiest race ideas. And some of these events takes weeks in the undertaking. Travel to and from, locales that are not spectator friendly, and access issues all around.
Climbers have base camp to consider, plus travel, plus the peaks, and so on.
Sounds to me like a 6wk trip would fall into “normal” range, even short, considering. What an adventure for him!
Post # 14
I guess for me it is that he is willing to up and leave you for a month and a half so he can destress. I kind of think that is shitty. It makes it seem like it is not just his job but his whole life that he needs to get away from and that includes you. Sorry but I would be pissed if my H said to me “I am super stressed so I am going to Australia for a month and a half by myself, k?!”
But hey, if you are cool with it then that is fine.
Post # 15
DH has mentioned travelling alone before. I’ll be honest, I would care. I wouldn’t insist on going if that’s what he wanted to do though. For me, I just don’t understand the appeal. If I were to take a trip, I would not enjoy myself unless DH was with me so it’s hard for me to understand why DH would want to experience a new place without me. I would feel left out.
I would NOT be okay if it were for a month though. I think I would put my foot down there. That’s a really long time and I know I would get extremely lonely. But it also wouldn’t be fair that he gets to go off on a one month vacation while I still have to work, clean the house, do the cooking, grocery shopping, etc. all myself.