(Closed) your husband/boyfriend/fiance being your "best friend" or not

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you say that your fiance is your "best friend"?

    Yes

    No, I have a platonic best friend

  • Post # 47
    Member
    9834 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    He is definitely my best friend, and was my best guy friend before we got together. I don’t have many friends at all and my used to be best friend hasn’t been my best friend for a few years. I can talk to Fiance about anything, we are there for each other when one of us is having a rough day, and just support each other 🙂

    Post # 48
    Member
    470 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    He is absolutely my best friend. He would drop everything to be there for me whenever there was a need to do so and I am his. I do have a best girlfriend but if I was really pushed to choose between them no contest my husband would win out every time.

    Post # 49
    Member
    1782 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Yes, absolutely without a question he is my best friend.

    Post # 50
    Member
    646 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    he totally is. i went through all thick and thin with him. he’s my best friend, my soulmate and the love of my life 🙂

    Post # 51
    Member
    5373 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    When we were first dating (4 and 1/2 years ago) I felt similar to you, OP, and really didn’t see my Fiance as my best friend. We’ve been through a lot together in the past year and a half though and I can honestly say he is 1000% the absolute best friend I’ve ever had. We both have other close and best friends, but none of their friendships compare to what I have with my Fiance.

    Post # 52
    Member
    9950 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Honestly, I think this can be different for each person and every relationship.

    When I was married the first time (circa 1980) I was a fresh-faced University Grad, and had a ton of GFs (it was tough deciding WHO to make a Bridesmaid… back then Wedding Parties were smaller, typically 1 Maid/Matron of Honor and 2 or 3 BMs). I certainly had GFs that I hung with regularly… told all my secrets to etc

    In the end, my Maid/Matron of Honor wasn’t really the one I’d call my BFF, but rather she was the one gal in the bunch who had been extremely supportive (there for me) when my Hubby-2-B and I were first dating… the friend you sit up late with in the Dorm and yak into the wee hours with, about how the Date went.  And because she had been supportive it only was natural to give her the honour of the Maid/Matron of Honor role, because essentially that is what being a member of the Bridal Party means… “Standing Up” for the Bride & Groom

    Over the years, I think that my Ex-H and I did become good friends… but I still had GFs beyond that which were an important part of my life, and social activities and interests.  I’d call them my “posse” and say that we were all pretty tight, and over the years, the BFF title sort of rotated around amongst the group… depending on what we were up to and where we were in our lives, and what things in common we had happening at the time…  So for example, I was closer to one of the group when we both were trekking around young kids, another when we began volunteering together, a third when the kids were teens, and yet another when my Separation & Divorce was at its worst.

    This time round…

    Mr TTR for sure is my best friend.  We spend virtually ALL our time together, as we are both semi-retired, and work from home primarily.  At this point in my life this makes total sense, because in a few years, we’ll no doubt draw up stakes, and move into a new phase of our lives where we travel even more, and spend even less time here at home with Friends & Family, and more time with each other.

    I still have my “posse” of GFs but since meeting Mr TTR it hasn’t been quite the same.  As they’ve also entered their 50s and the retirement years, our lives have all changed drastically… kids at University, kids moving across the globe, kids getting married… elderly parents to care for, husbands retiring, more time for travel & leisure, etc.  We are just all pulled in so many directions now… although we do try to keep in touch and get together every once in awhile for a Luncheon.  And we have our Annual Girlfriend Weekend away from the guys.  By far though the best thing we ever did was around the time we were all turning 50 we took a Girls Only Trip to Disney.  That was awesome !!

    My GFs are very supportive of my marrying Mr TTR… they can see for themselves how well he treats me.  And IF we were getting married the old fashioned way and not Eloping, I’d certainly have them all as BMs

    But for sure… as much as I love them all dearly… and we’ve been pretty close for 15 to 20 or so years, I would say that my relationship with Mr TTR is even stronger when it comes to having a BFF.  He is most certainly my rock, and I am very excited to have found this kind of LOVE at this point in my life, and am looking forward to us spending our lives together making that relationship even stronger.

     

    Post # 53
    Member
    2559 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Yes, he is. I have many other close friends, but the second something happens (good or bad) he’s who I run to tell, who I confide my thoughts and fears and opinions in, who I have the most laughs with and who I absolutely couldn’t live without. Is he my only source of social fulfillment? No, I have friends of both sexes who I love and use for different types of support. But in the heirarchy of friendship, DH takes it hands down.

    Post # 54
    Member
    1038 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I consider my Fiance my best friend.  I have other people that are close friends in my life, but I’m not marrying them am I?  I’ve always thought the best marriages are the ones where husband and wife not only look at each other as lovers and soul mates, but as partners and best friends as well. 

    Post # 55
    Member
    3768 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    My Fiance is definitely my best friend… we both have “best friends”, but both of our personalities are such that we talk to our regular best friends maybe once a week, and we see them in person once every… well, every other month, lately!  I don’t think we can share everything with our best friends the way that we do with each other as well.  If we go to events, we are very rarely not together.  The only time it would be boys or girls-only is for bachelor/ette parties.  I don’t know, I think from all angles, we are each others’ best friend.

    Post # 56
    Member
    4045 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I get all creeped out with the whole “Today I marry my best friend” thing that seems to be so popular to say nowadays.

    Although that may be because I really don’t like the two people I know who said/say that (one is only engaged, so she says it ALL THE TIME in reference to the future, and I can’t stand her to begin with).

    That said, I consider my SO to be my best friend. Ha! He is the only one I tell absolutely everything to and feel 100% comfortable with.

    Post # 57
    Member
    1476 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    DH is my best friend. We know each other better than anyone else.

    Post # 58
    Member
    7769 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    He is definitely my best friend.  We do everything together, tell one another everything, and just love being around one another.  (Kind of obsessed!)  I can share anything with him.  He is not judgemental- something I never experienced in my own family.  I can completely be myself with him.  We moved cross country after we started seeing one another and that sort of solidified our friendship because we did not know anyone else. 

    Post # 59
    Member
    120 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    He is absolutely my BFF!!!

    Post # 60
    Member
    343 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’ve never used the phrase “best friend” for my husband in my mind, or out loud.  It just doesn’t match who he is to me.  He’s my favorite person in the whole world, but I have an incredible friend of 20+ years who is my true best friend.

    Post # 61
    Member
    8469 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Yes, absolutely.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way!

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