Honestly, I think this can be different for each person and every relationship.
When I was married the first time (circa 1980) I was a fresh-faced University Grad, and had a ton of GFs (it was tough deciding WHO to make a Bridesmaid… back then Wedding Parties were smaller, typically 1 Maid/Matron of Honor and 2 or 3 BMs). I certainly had GFs that I hung with regularly… told all my secrets to etc
In the end, my Maid/Matron of Honor wasn’t really the one I’d call my BFF, but rather she was the one gal in the bunch who had been extremely supportive (there for me) when my Hubby-2-B and I were first dating… the friend you sit up late with in the Dorm and yak into the wee hours with, about how the Date went. And because she had been supportive it only was natural to give her the honour of the Maid/Matron of Honor role, because essentially that is what being a member of the Bridal Party means… “Standing Up” for the Bride & Groom
Over the years, I think that my Ex-H and I did become good friends… but I still had GFs beyond that which were an important part of my life, and social activities and interests. I’d call them my “posse” and say that we were all pretty tight, and over the years, the BFF title sort of rotated around amongst the group… depending on what we were up to and where we were in our lives, and what things in common we had happening at the time… So for example, I was closer to one of the group when we both were trekking around young kids, another when we began volunteering together, a third when the kids were teens, and yet another when my Separation & Divorce was at its worst.
This time round…
Mr TTR for sure is my best friend. We spend virtually ALL our time together, as we are both semi-retired, and work from home primarily. At this point in my life this makes total sense, because in a few years, we’ll no doubt draw up stakes, and move into a new phase of our lives where we travel even more, and spend even less time here at home with Friends & Family, and more time with each other.
I still have my “posse” of GFs but since meeting Mr TTR it hasn’t been quite the same. As they’ve also entered their 50s and the retirement years, our lives have all changed drastically… kids at University, kids moving across the globe, kids getting married… elderly parents to care for, husbands retiring, more time for travel & leisure, etc. We are just all pulled in so many directions now… although we do try to keep in touch and get together every once in awhile for a Luncheon. And we have our Annual Girlfriend Weekend away from the guys. By far though the best thing we ever did was around the time we were all turning 50 we took a Girls Only Trip to Disney. That was awesome !!
My GFs are very supportive of my marrying Mr TTR… they can see for themselves how well he treats me. And IF we were getting married the old fashioned way and not Eloping, I’d certainly have them all as BMs
But for sure… as much as I love them all dearly… and we’ve been pretty close for 15 to 20 or so years, I would say that my relationship with Mr TTR is even stronger when it comes to having a BFF. He is most certainly my rock, and I am very excited to have found this kind of LOVE at this point in my life, and am looking forward to us spending our lives together making that relationship even stronger.