(Closed) your husband/boyfriend/fiance being your "best friend" or not

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you say that your fiance is your "best friend"?

    Yes

    No, I have a platonic best friend

  • Post # 62
    Member
    1229 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Of course he is.  We don’t have to even wonder what the other is thinking, I can totally be Myself around him, girls are just too catty and emotional to be considered a Boyfriend or Best Friend. 

    Post # 63
    Member
    1789 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I see that on 80% of the invitations, and it sounds soooo corny/cliche after you get the 14th invitation saying the same thing.

    Post # 64
    Member
    152 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I always say if I didn’t fall in love with my fiancé I’d never be friends with him. I love hanging out, being silly, conversing and have plenty of fun with him but I wouldn’t call him my best friend by any means. I did the whole relationship with my best friend thing nut the spark/it factor was missing. 

    Post # 65
    Member
    152 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    @LaughLines:  I’m on the same boat and in agreement with you. Perhaps we just have a different definition of what a best friend is to us. 

    Post # 66
    Member
    3092 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    He is most certainly my best friend….like the best best of the best!  I also have best friends, a best girlfriend, and friends.

     

    You’re allowed to have more than one best friend…remember that Full House episode? 😉

    Post # 67
    Member
    1430 posts
    Bumble bee

    My husband is absolutely my best friend. #1 person I can count on, trust, tell everything to. But can he replace my need for best girlfriends? No way. I am lucky to have both!

    Post # 68
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Yes! That was the main motivator for me wanting to marry him. My mother told that a strong friendship is one of the main keys to a lasting marriage. But I think it def is something that can grow over time.

    Post # 69
    Member
    777 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    No. I don’t know how to explain it exactly, but here’s my shot at a metaphor:

    My best friend is like a coconut cream pie. My husband is like coconut cake. Both share nearly all of the same ingredients–similar worldviews and values; appreciation of books, music, art; certain character traits, and so forth. But the differences in the recipes, the way those ingredients are mixed together, the addition of romantic passion and sexual attraction and exclusivity (“leavening”, if you will) make them categorically distinct. My relationship with my husband has many of the elements of friendship, yet our bond is not that of friendship and never could have been. He is my lover and my family, not my friend. A cake, not a pie.

    Post # 70
    Member
    556 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    He is my absolute truest, greatest, best friend I have ever had in my life. He’s incredibly supportive, knows me more than anyone, we hang out together more often than spending time alone, and we genuinely enjoy each other’s company. He makes me laugh, helps me with any problem I am having, whether it be with homework, friends, or family, and I tell him my deepest secrets. I am very lucky.

    Post # 71
    Member
    8418 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    One million percent my Fiance is my best friend….I tell him that all the time too! We are actually thinking of using Tim McGraw’s My Best Friend for our first dance b/c I get emotional b/c it describes exactly how I feel about him!

    Post # 72
    Member
    11736 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’ve only known my Fiance for a little under 2 years but we both consider each other our best friend.  We tell each other everything, there are no secrets (past or present!)  Of course, I have friends and my sisters who are also my best friends but my Fiance is still my number 1 confidant.  I’d go to him with anything before anyone else.

    Post # 73
    Member
    19 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Interesting question!  I have actually been thinking about this a lot recently.  My guys is TOTALLY my best friend.  We’ve been together for 12 years, and know eachother like the back of our hand.  Its spooky how well we know eachother.  But that’s really only come on the last 2-3 years (knowing what the other person is going to say before they say it, he will say something the exact moment I was thinking the same thing, it’s really weird at times!).  If you had asked me 5 years ago, I probably wouldn’t have been able to answer, and it would have been weird to me.  But now, absolutely he is my best friend!

    Post # 74
    Member
    1377 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    My mom is my best friend, but Boyfriend or Best Friend has quickly rose amongst the ranks to become my best friend who is not family. While we do have a great connection, part of it is that I have simply never had a best girlfriend. About 4 years ago, I found myself frequently disappointed by friends who seemed to prefer to hang out with their college/grad school/work friends over me. Then I moved abroad. Then I came back and everyone had scattered and married/gotten engaged/moved in with S/O and it’s been even more difficult to be tight. I still love my friends and I do think it’s important to maintain friendships outside of your romantic relationship, but I know I have to have realistic expectations about how much they are willing to give me. I don’t want to be burned again. 

    I do worry about being too emotionally dependent on Boyfriend or Best Friend and I do wonder how hard it would be on me if we broke up. If the relationship were to go sour, I know I would have to guard against staying in the relationship just because I didn’t have a good friend support network to fall back on. At least I have my family…

    Post # 75
    Member
    1348 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’ve had my best friend since I was about 2… since I’ve only known my SO for about 3 years it’s pretty difficult to see anyone but my best friend as my best friend… she’s been by my side through more ups and downs than I could ever imagine.

    Post # 76
    Member
    870 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I have a female “best friend” that I do girl stuff with, but Fiance is defintely my true best friend.

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