(Closed) Your kids will be fine if you keep your name. Trust me. I was!

posted 10 years ago in Names
Post # 17
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Fascinating posts.  Thanks for sharing!

Post # 18
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011


If you want to change your last name, by all means, go for it, but don’t do it to save the children. I’ve always thought that was such a ridiculous reason to change it (assuming you didn’t otherwise want to).

Post # 19
5117 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I love this thread! I’m planning to hyphenate, and after leraning more about the type of career I’m going for, I’m somewhat glad that my kid will not have to be associated with me publicly. My kids and their teachers/school/imporant places will know I’m their mom, but not everyone under the sun needs to.

Good to hear that normal, happy, well-adjsuted adults can grow up in families with ‘bold’ moms 🙂

Post # 20
6244 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

@UrbanAlaskan: Thank you for posting this. I appreciate your insight 🙂

Post # 21
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It’s actually traditional here NOT to change the woman’s last name.  So before I could even say that I was keeping my last name, my fiance told me he thought I should.

It’s really not that confusing.  If schools keep proper records (like all schools should) then there should never be a problem.

At the school I work at it lists both parents full names, who to contact, and all of that stuff as soon as you look up a child’s information to contact home.

It’s really not as big a deal as people make it.

Post # 22
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I kept my last name. I go in between adding his last name onto mine, but I think I’ll just keep mine. Sometimes it’s really good having different last names- my husband needed to order transcripts but the school refused to send them to him, he used me instead.

Post # 23
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

one of my friends, her mom kept her maiden name. they hyphenated all the kids last names! moral of the story.. do whatever you want!!!! 🙂

I personally am really excited to change my last name. I love my Fiance last name, easy to pronouce and spell! unlike my maiden name!

Post # 24
11 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

@UrbanAlaskan:  Thank you for starting these posts. This is of the most common excuses I hear (I say excuse because I don’t buy it for a second, as I think the real reason is tradition and fear), and I love to hear it very rationally and kindly poo-poo’ed (do people say that anymore?) My mom was married twice and changed her last name to her husband’s both times. My last name never changed, but from a young age (5) my mom had a different last name than 3 of her kids. Her 2nd husband had two kids of his own, so my mom shared a last name with them but not the 3 of us. Then my mom and stepdad had a kid together, and he also had their last name – but not mine.

Can I just say that never once in my life has ANY of this affected me for longer than the 5 seconds it takes to spell my step-dad’s difficult-to-pronounce last name? It’s a non-issue. No, I take that back – I’ve asked my mom repeatedly over the years why she changed her name at all. Why did she want a name that wasn’t hers? She’s yet to give me an answer that makes sense and usually just laughs it off as “something you did back then.”

Such silliness, this name change thing. I can’t wait until it goes the way of the dowry.

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