(Closed) Your Opinion: Is 25 too young to be getting married?

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Is 25/26 too young to get married?

    Yes, much too young. You can't make an informed decision.

    No, 25 is perfectly okay. You have a pretty good understanding of who you are by then.

    It depends on the couple and the relationship.

  • Post # 46
    Member
    1697 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I got married at 25 and have never felt like it was too young. 

    Post # 47
    Member
    1349 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

    Wow! How rude of that woman!

    I think it really depends on the couple. But I will say that I was engaged to my high school sweetheart. Everything was great, and we were happy and “knew” that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together when we got engaged at 19. We decided to wait until we graduated from college to actually start wedding-planning and thank goodness we did! By the time I graduated with my master’s and got my frist real job (at almost 24), he was still working on his bachelor’s and had changed a lot since we started living together at 23. However, I stuck by his side and thought that things would get back to normal within a year. Nope. When we were 25, he cheated on me, and I left him, which was the hardest, most painful decision I’ve had to make to date.

    About 6 months later, though, I reconnected with my current Fiance (I was almost 26 at the time). I didn’t want to rush into deciding to marry him like I think I did before, so we waited until we were both settled in our jobs (he moved to be with me) and had lived with each other for a year. Things are still going great, and we are getting married next summer when I’ll be almost 30, and he’ll be days away from turning 31.

    I think the best measure for knowing you’re ready to get married isn’t age necessarily. I think it’s important to be settled in your career/financially and to have lived with the person for a signficant amount of time.

    Post # 48
    Member
    2989 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2008

    It really depends on the maturity and life experiences of the couple IMO. Factors like how well do you know yourself, how realistic are your expectations about relationships/life in general, do you take responsibility for your feelings and your actions, how well do you have it together financially, do you understand just how long life is and what kind of commitment you’re agreeing to come into play. 

    I remember meeting a college friend’s husband for the first time, being really impressed by his maturity and lucrative small business, and being shocked to discover that he was only 23 years old. On the other hand, I have two beloved friends in their 40s who are basically man-children and have no business getting married possibly ever. 

    Post # 49
    Member
    363 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m turning 26 this month and no I wouldn’t consider 25 to be young when it comes to marriage. I think 25 years is plenty of time. 

    Post # 50
    Member
    2810 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’m 26 now, and I think I’ve been “ready” to get married/make a serious commitment for a few years in terms of maturity, but I haven’t been with the right person/in the right kind of relationship until my current boyfriend. That said, I think being in multiple relationships was important for me to figure out what I was looking for, how I wanted to be treated, etc. I don’t think 25 is too young at all, but I think I’d have regretted marrying the first or second guy I dated, which is why I think it’s important to wait longer to marry if you start dating young. That said, I have good friends who married their high school sweethearts and are very happy, so I’m not saying I don’t think that’s entirely possible. 

    Post # 51
    Member
    74 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    I’m going to go with statistics: according to divorce statistics, you are more likely to divorce if married before the age of 25, along with a few other variables such as income and education level. Of course, there will always be many factors and it doesn’t take the individuals and relationship into account, but if you are both at least 25 at the time of marriage, statistics are on your side.

    Post # 52
    Member
    363 posts
    Helper bee

    Ps. I should add even though I’m 25 and feel ready for marriage, I’d be skeptical about marrying a man my age or younger. My SO is 34. From my own personal experience it seems to take men longer to get to a place where they are ready to settle down.

    Post # 53
    Member
    2733 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: County courthouse

    I was 21 when I marries my husband who was 33. Our marriage works and we celebrate 10 yrs of marriage next year and 12 years of being together. I knew I wanted to marry my husband at 20 and we went to go pick out an engagement ring on my birthday when I turned 20. Sometimes young marriages work out for the best. Where I’m from, most couples marry around 25 and have kids by their 30s. So it’s not quite so abnormal for me.

    Post # 54
    Member
    268 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    No this kind of stuff annoys me.  I truly think we as an American society have extended adolescence and our “selfish years.”  I got married at 22, and I get a lot of crap for it. BUT we were both so ready.  We have career goals and we want to build our lives together.  We’ll probably wait another 3-4 years before kids, but I guess neither of us really wanted the so-called selfish years.  I’m chronically ill and have food allergies, so traveling is really difficult, we don’t go out and never did go out and party, so I don’t feel like I’m missing out.  To each his own, but I really think we should stop putting off marriage until our late 20s and 30s if we can help it.  I think people in general waste too much time dating for fun and not focusing finding their life parter.  I also came from a traditional family though. 

    Post # 55
    Member
    235 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    FutureMrsW621 :  +1. I have no problem with people waiting until they’re older (30s, etc.) to get married – you do you – but as a whole, people in our generation (I’m 21) are very immature and commitment-phobic when it comes to relationships.

    Post # 56
    Member
    268 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    View original reply
    collegebee :  Yes, I’m with you!  And I totally understand if you meet your spouse later in life or are in very poor financial shape, but goodness.  Sometimes I feel like by not committing we’re setting ourselves up for heartbreak and giving up in relationships because the other person isn’t perfect.  It’s surprising to me that it’s such a topic of controversery though!

    Post # 57
    Member
    390 posts
    Helper bee

    I think it really depends on the people in the relationship and how ready and mature they are.  I got married at 25, although I was almost 26 and it was the right choice.  We were very ready married and had been a couple for many years.

    Post # 58
    Member
    780 posts
    Busy bee

    I agree with PP’s that it really depends on the person AND the couple. Age really is a number. People mature at different paces. I got married in October at 24. Will be 25 In June and my husband just turned 27. We’ve been together since I was 18 and he was 21, met my freshman year of college. We maintained our independence through college, I retained all the girlfriends I had made before him, was involved in my sorority and we weren’t attached at the hip. That was so very important to me as I consider myself to have an independent streak and need my space and I truly felt I grew in college even though I had a boyfriend. We are not at all the same people we were when we met but we grew together and still love eachother the same. For us it was kinda just like why wait? We’ve been monogamous for 5 years, love eachother, experienced relationships before eachother, both have careers and are independent from our parents. We don’t plan on babies until I’m at least 27 because for now we still like our social life and traveling. Am I mature enough to be married yes, am I mature enough to have a baby? It wouldn’t be my choice right now. They don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Sure we are married but besides joint finances nothing in our lives has drastically changed. Is everyone mature at 24/25? No. but to blanket judge an entire age range isn’t right. 

    Post # 59
    Member
    2668 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    If 25 and 26 is too young to get married, DH and I are guilty! We just got married in December – I am 26 and he is 25. For what it’s worth, DH and I have been together 10 years this coming July and have lived together for 3.5 years – we’ve already been through a lot together and I can’t really see a few more years changing that. We’ve been fortunate in that we’ve grown together instead of apart, but it’s definitely been hard at times.

    Honestly, I can see how some people might think it’s too young but I think you know yourselves best – if it’s right for you, then who is anyone else to judge? People used to get married far younger anyway – my grandmother always goes on about how she was married with 3 kids by the time she was my age, which was common for that time. 

    Post # 60
    Member
    10373 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    Depends on the couple and the relationship.

    I know some very mature 25 year olds who really have their shit together and then I know some 25 year olds that act more like 17 year olds.

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