(Closed) Your Opinion: Is 25 too young to be getting married?

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Is 25/26 too young to get married?

    Yes, much too young. You can't make an informed decision.

    No, 25 is perfectly okay. You have a pretty good understanding of who you are by then.

    It depends on the couple and the relationship.

  • Post # 61
    Member
    3313 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: City, State

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    yourhandinmine :  I think it all depends on the person.  No matter what age you marry it can fail  for one reason or another. Personally I don’t think it’s to young . I married at 20 and   still together 10 years later after a very short dating period. We were married in under 7 months after our first date 

    Do what’s right for you now. 

    Post # 62
    Member
    747 posts
    Busy bee

    Definitely depends on the person. I got engaged when I was 23 after a pretty short relationship and it was one of the stupidest things I’d ever agreed to. Luckily, I came to my senses shortly afterwards but it was definitely a sign that I didn’t really know who I was, what I wanted etc. I was a people pleaser who couldn’t say no to anyone even when every fibre of my being was screaming ‘DO NOT DO THIS!’

    I met my now husband 2 years later and we got married when I was 31. I was much more secure in who I was and what I wanted and needed out of life. 

    So for me, 25 is way too early. And I must admit my experiences and the relationships I see around me make me think that 25 is generally too young.

    But that’s just my experience, I’d never judge anyone else who wanted to get married that young. If you’ve got your shit together, it’s a perfectly valid choice. If you know who you are, or find someone to grow with, great!

    Post # 63
    Member
    54 posts
    Worker bee

    I will have just turned 25 when we get married, have been together since I was 18. I think it is more about the person and their maturity rather than a set age. My Fiance would not have been ready at 25 but I am.

    Post # 64
    Member
    1584 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    I got married at 24 and divorced at 26 (ex was 30 when we married). I went though some major life changes from 23-25 that really made me change my mind about things I found unacceptable in a relationship like laziness, making excuses, taking advantage of me etc. That change of perspective meant that my ex was no longer the right person for me. So personally, I was too young to get married.

    However, I do think it’s possible to complete that ‘life change’ phase at a younger age. It just depends on what’s happened in your life.

    Post # 65
    Member
    1338 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016 - Painswick Church and the Falcon Hotel

    Nope! I got married at 22

    Post # 66
    Member
    158 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I think it really depends on a lot of different factors. Generally, people change a great amount up until the age of about 25, some even up until 30. So sometimes it is harder for couples who marry young because they change so much before 25 and see themselves growing apart. Which is unfortunate. I will be 25 when we get married in September, but my Fiance will be 30. We are 5.5 years apart. We will have been together for almost 4 years, living together for nearly 3 years and owned a house together for over a year. I am finishing my Bachelor’s degree in April, and will be hopefully starting my career job shortly after I finish school. Whereas, my Fiance has been working full time for 5 years now. Given our age gap, this is completely normal and he is super supportive and we really work well as a team to make our financial situation work until I finish school. I think people at any age have struggles to get through and it ultimately depends on how good your relationship is and how much both people are willing to work on it, comprise and he understanding through times of change. 

    Post # 67
    Member
    234 posts
    Helper bee

    I really don’t think you can put an age on the perfect time to get married. I got married at 21 and my husband was 27- it was the perfect time for us. I’ve always been an old soul and knew since our first date that I was going to marry him.

    Others need more time before settling down- they may not be so sure initially, want to travel/explore, be alone for a while, spend time living together first- the reasons are endless. I don’t think there’s a right way or a wrong way, but I certainly don’t think that 25 is young. In our grandparent’s generation, at 25 you had been married for 5-7 years and likely had a few kids.

    Post # 68
    Member
    638 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    I can’t stand people like this. I’m sure if you were 30 (despite what she said about waiting) she would’ve had some other judgmental comment to make about how you’d better not wait too long if you want to have children. You just can’t win with some people.

    As others have said, 20s may be perceived as the age of extended adolescence these days, but, where I’m from, people usually have (most) of their sh*t together by 25. That’s usually when people are either beginning their careers or finishing graduate school (again, where I’m from). 

    My SO’s father had 2 children by the age of 25, and my parents were married at 20 (my mom) and 25 (my dad). It’s funny to me how judgmental some older people are and I sometimes wonder if it has to do with personal regrets or some strange superiority complex.

    Post # 69
    Member
    275 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    I will be getting married a month after my 25th birthday, and my Fiance will be 27. We’ve been together for almost a decade, have steady careers, own a house, and have plenty in savings with no debt. We had some rough patches, but we grew together through them and haven’t had any issues like that in several years.

    I feel ready at 25. That said, what I described is a very particular set of circumstances. If you live with your parents and have a lot of debt, I don’t see the harm in waiting until your late twenties or early thirties. The same applies if you’ve only known each other a couple of years. It really is up to the individuals.

    Post # 70
    Member
    4263 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

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    yourhandinmine :  I got married a few weeks after my 25th birthday, so nope, I don’t. Of course, it depends on the individuals and the relationship. If you feel ready then no amount of outside opinions should cloud your judgment. 

    Post # 71
    Member
    1962 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    For me, I know that I am a different person then I was in my mid 20’s. What I wanted in a partnership has changed, what I expect from myself has changed, and what I want in my partner has changed. 

     

    So for my opinion, yes it is too young. However, there are people that at that age are ready and will make it work. 

    Post # 72
    Member
    3172 posts
    Sugar bee

    That’s really weird. I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut to people like that.

    Anyway, to answer your question, to me, 25 seems young, but it’s up to you. I got married at 27 and that was a few years ago, so even 27 seems young to me now. If you are ready to get married and you’re in a good place in your relationship, then it’s not up to her to say. 

    Post # 73
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

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    FutureMrsW621 :  Its not always about partying and random dating. Sometimes you are in school working on an advanced degree, starting in a new profession that requires incredible focus etc. There is nothing selfish about not getting married if you don’t feel like it at a particular time.

    Post # 74
    Member
    104 posts
    Blushing bee

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    musicluvr325 :  This is what scares me about most relationships these days. People often change what they want. 

    Anyways op I don’t think 25 is young.  It’s a good age but it depends on the people involved. 

    Post # 75
    Member
    1962 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

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    khopenyc :  I think that came from what I was willing to deal with. The person I was with then, wasn’t the most caring or wanted a family. I thought I was okay with that. As time passed I found that he was just cold and not a very good person. He was a lesson I had to learn. But that’s why I think 20’s are so important. You’re changing a lot in that time. 

    But EVERYONE is so different. You can’t place us all into the same mold. 

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