(Closed) Your parents and “the sex talk”

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My mom was the EXACT same as yours. And, I did have to call my mom once or twice in high school to pick me up from a party because I had been drinking. She would bring me home (usually around 2 in the morning), make me chicken mc nuggets, and would hold her conversation about the evening until I was sober in the morning. Because of her stern yet open attitude, I waited until college to have sex, have never had unproected sex, and have never been blindly drunk. Of course I enjoy drinking and enjoy having sex – but her messages have always been in the back of my brain and have kept me grounded.

Post # 4
Member
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

As an aside, my mom started the “sex ed” conversations in the car on my way to school starting in 6th grade!! She wanted to do it “in conjunction with” the sex ed classes I was forced to take at school.

Post # 5
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I just need to replay the only “sex talk” conversations I can remember having with my parents because they are TOO funny.  I spent years of my childhood worried I was accidentally going to eat the “right foods” because she wouldn’t tell me what they were.

My Mom, when I was 3 and she was pregnant with my brother: “When a man and a woman love each other very much and eat all the right foods, they have a baby.”

Me, early teens: “Hey, Mom, what’s an orgasm like?”
Mom: Like your whole body is sneezing.

My Mom, when I was 19, the morning after my first time: “What time did he leave?”
Me: 2 AM
Mom: What were you doing that late?
Me: Having sex.
Mom: Oh.

My Mom to me age 23, when my brother (age 19 or so) and his college girlfriend were visiting: “Hey, R, make sure your brother knows about condoms.  Maybe you can give him some.”

Fortunately, we had very good comprehensive sex ed in school.  It’s not really that my parents are all that prudish, it’s just that they never really thought to sit down and discuss this stuff with me or my brother.

Post # 7
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think it sounds like your mom handled it really well!

I don’t remember the details of sex talks with my mom.  I do remember her giving me a book to read about the birds and the bees that was narrated by a bird and a bee.  It went through everything from the differences between male and female anatomy, contraception, sex, how a baby develops, etc.

What ever she did seemed to work out well for me and my sister.  I waited until I was 20, it was with my now-DH, and always protected.  My sister has broken up with two different Boyfriend or Best Friend at this point who were not respecting the fact that she wasn’t ready to have sex (she’s almost 21 now and is with a guy who respects her so much more).

I’m not a parent yet but I do expect that this won’t be the easiest of topic to discuss with future children.  You don’t want to freak them out or make them feel to pressured, but you can’t take it all too lightly either.  It’s certainly a fine line!

Post # 8
Member
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@danadelphia: That is awesome. I’m totally stealing that idea for when I catch my children smoking pot one day!!

Post # 9
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t remember my parents and I ever having “the talk.” I went to Christian school, and part of that includes Family Honors. Where basically they teach you about God’s plan for us and sex. The teachers also terrify you at the age of 13 about Save-The-Date Cards and eternal damnation.. but what I remember is learning the anatomy.. and then being taught to fear sex. Also, contraception is bad according to my instructor. It interfere’s with God’s plan for sex.

So yeah.. I got my sex talk from teachers. I wish I had the talk with my parents, but I was just too afraid to even bring it up. Even when Fi and I ased our parents if they were ok with us moving in together, I never got “the talk.” My parents have told me they trust me to make good decisions many times, so I guess that was my talk. Make good decisions. Good talk.

 

Post # 10
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I found the book that my parent’s gave me to read!  It’s called “It’s Perfectly Normal : Changing Bodies, Growing up, Sex, and Sexual Health”

EDIT – Sorry the picture is so giant!

Post # 11
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t ever remember sitting down with my mom and having “the sex talk” I went to Catholic school my entire life and I remember doing family life and learning a lot then. They seperated the boys and girls to tell us about it. Honestly I remember it being very informative, of course they preached abstinence but in 3rd grade I was like of course! I also had to take a class called “Sexuality” my freshman year of high school which discussed every thing about sex, the fact that I was still very much a virgin, I found that class very helpful. When I started college my mom wanted me to go on Birth control and we had a talk then, I was planning on waiting for the right person so I didn’t want that. Sex was never a scary thing for me, nor was it something I was saving as a special gift. All the teachers I had made sex seem like a good thing just not something you share with everyone 🙂

Post # 12
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I remember my mom telling me when she was pregnant with my little brother that my dad helped put him there. I asked how and she said that when you are older a boy part and a girl part can make a baby. I was good with that for awhile.  I do remember my freshman year of high school, I was at a party and someone thought it would be funny to put in a porno (yeah we were in high school). It was the first one I’d ever seen and I remember being SHOCKED! As embaressing as it sounds my entire life up until I was 14 years old I didn’t know that when you had sex the “boy part” actually went in! I thought you just rubbed up against each other. I remember thinking “Of course people get pregnant!!” I was pretty naive.

Post # 13
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I was about 12ish when I ASKED my mom for the sex talk. Her reply? I’ll tell you when you your getting married and need to know. 

I half want to ask for it now. haha. I wish my family wasn’t so awkward about it.  

Post # 14
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My sex talk with my mom was hilarious because of how inadequate it was.

At age 7 or 8 – “Someday, you’ll start bleeding from your privates.  When that happens, put this in your undies.  Girls start early in our family.  I just want you to be prepared.”  

Wait, what?  Fortunately, I read Sweet Valley High, and they talked about periods in there.  Which made my mom’s random presentation of a maxi pad make a lot more sense.  Cat breeding books were my sex ed until I started working at the library, when I researched it for myself.

For the record, I panicked when I started growing pubic hair.

Post # 15
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee

My mom bought a book for me in the 4th grade and would read a little bit every night before bed.  I just remember there being a lot of cartoonish illustrations and it did a pretty bad job of explaining how the act of sex happend.  It was sort of just “this is what you do when you love someone.”  So the next year when i had my first period I was so confused and had no idea what was going on!  I had a lot of clarifications later that year when we had to have sex ed in school.   

Post # 16
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee

Yeah, we never had a talk. My parents are pretty awkward about sex stuff. It was forbidden, of course, but we just didn’t know about it. Luckily we went to public school where you get diagrams and books and a stern explanation.

Part of the reason I think we never had a talk was because I’m both very stubborn and extremely trustworthy. I think my parents knew that I was going to do what I wanted when I wanted and I’d make sure to research it first. I think they had a talk with my older sister and it was horribly awkward.

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