(Closed) Your parents, His parents and Money??

posted 9 years ago in Money
  • poll: Do you or your FI discuss your finances with parents?

    Yes, They know everything about our finances

    Sometimes we/ I discuss our finances with parents

    No, Its none of their business

  • Post # 3
    3260 posts
    Sugar bee

    No, we don’t.. we only discuss it with each other.

    Post # 3
    964 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think we talk independently to our parents about a “situation” maybe for guidance, but they don’t know everything. We are not planning to combine finances until we are married. I will at times ask my mom and dad about investing or whatever and my FH might as his parents there opinion on how to handle something. Once finances are combined, we will need to talk to each other first… THEN seek wise counsel if necessary.

    Post # 4
    104 posts
    Blushing bee

    I said No, but I’ve been completly financial independant from my parents since I started working at 16 and have had my own checking account.

    I’m sure it’s different for people that have parents who help them out. 

    Post # 5
    1284 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We don’t. I wouldn’t really have an issue with discussing it with my parents (though he probably wouldn’t be ok with that) but I absolutely do not want to discuss it with his parents.

    Post # 6
    15470 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    My dad used to do my taxes for me up to last year before we were married, so he knows every last detail of my all finances.  We have never discuss spending habits or anything like that though.  I do ask for advice and input about stuff like refinacing a mortgage or other things that I feel he can help me out with, but naturally, my/our money, my/our decisions.

    Post # 7
    14056 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    No, and I never would share this information with them unless there was a very, very compelling reason.  I am financially independent.  They have no reason to know what my bank account looks like, just like I have no reason to see theirs. 

    Post # 8
    3373 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I talk to my parents a lot about our finances. They don’t know the exact number in our checking accounts, but occasionally I’ve mentioned how much we have saved. When we were saving for a downpayment on our home, it was nice to have someone other than DH excited for us. I also like to talk about all our big purchases (I’m not getting permission from my parents, just talking like I would with friends).

    We’ve never talked to his parents about our incomes. They come from a small town with lower incomes and I think it might shock them to know what houses cost in my area and what our salaries are.

    Post # 9
    4594 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    My parents, yes.  SO has had money troubles in the past and it was important to my parents that I didn’t end up having his debt on my shoulders.  They were gracious enough to offer to loan him the money, then he’d pay them back not a loan company charging interest.

    His parents: no.  They wouldn’t be able to afford to help with his debt, and they’d be very embarrassed if they knew my parents had done.

    ETA:  I am a university student but until I graduate I am not considered financially independant by the government.  My parents have to support me, the student loan I get could nowhere near cover me because I’m not “estranged” from my parents and their income is taken into account.

    Post # 10
    1570 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Nope, never. My parents know I don’t rack up the thousands. But they don’t know details. His dad is very well off, so they do offer suggestions. But also, he doesn’t go into details.

    Post # 11
    813 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I talk to my mom a lot about finances, because she is really good with money. She also helped me with my taxes this year, so she saw our incomes. She knows roughly how much money we have (if we sucked at saving, I probably wouldn’t tell her!)

    I don’t think Fiance tells his parents about our finances really.

    Post # 12
    10282 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Our parents know approximately what we make but we never discuss how much money we have. That’s no-ones business but ours. Under special circumstances we’ve gone more in depth (like after our wedding when they were curious as to how much gift $$ we received) but those situations are few and far between. 

    Post # 13
    13561 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Our parents are moderately aware of our financial stuff right now. A little more aware that we’d like them to be. But we’re hoping that will fade somewhat as we’re married longer.

    Post # 14
    6109 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Everything I learned NOT to do with money I learned from my parents.  Seriously, they are in such a mess and not doing too well.  My dad keeps secrets, they do not discuss anything.  I do not take advice from them, instead they ask me for counseling.  My mom has no clue if she’s going to be OK for retirement or what amounts are of any accounts; I have to help her with these things (not financially but with advice).  It’s very sad and I would never let my marriage get like that.


    I do not talk about balances or how much things cost with my parents.  Heck no, they do not know what is in my account.  Why should they? 


    My mom thinks we’re rich honestly and should be paying for maids and gardeners and dog walkers.  She’d also think that we should pay for her plane tickets and meals when we are together just because we can afford it.  Whenever we do go out, I have to say “separate checks” or else she’ll assume I’m paying!  We are trying to retire early.  The extra money is not seen and we live simply.

    Post # 15
    13561 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    View original reply
    @UpstateCait:  Oh, you said it perfectly. They’re somewhat aware of our incomes, but they don’t know what we have in the bank. They know approximately how much $ we got as a gift at the wedding, and how much certain payments are, etc.

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