(Closed) Your parents vs your financial responsibility

posted 6 years ago in Money
  • poll: Your parents vs your financial responsibility
    My parents are financially responsible, I am too. : (66 votes)
    54 %
    My parents are not financially responsible, but I am. : (20 votes)
    16 %
    My parents are financially responsible, I am not. : (7 votes)
    6 %
    My parents are not financially responsible, and I am not. : (1 votes)
    1 %
    My dad is, my mom is not, I am : (11 votes)
    9 %
    My dad is, my mom is not, I am not : (3 votes)
    2 %
    My dad is not, my mom is, I am : (13 votes)
    11 %
    My dad is not, my mom is, I am not : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9483 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I picked up my financial responsibility from watching my grandparents.  No one else in my family knows how to save a penny if their entire life counted on it.

    DH’s financial responsibility is so-so.  It’s good, but it could be better.  He is clueless when it comes to certain things.  I know his mom likes to spend, spend, spend.  It’s not that he spends, he just doesn’t think sometimes.  He’ll tell me that he’s going to the store for one or two things and comes back spending over $100.  That to me is a no no.  Thankfully he doesn’t do it often.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    My dad says his biggest regret is not teaching us financial responsibility. It worked out okay for me, not sure why, I think my insanely logical approach to life in general saved me. As for my brothers, not so much. 

    DH’s parents are super financially responsible–they don’t even own a credit card, pay for everything in cash (they have a mortgage and other lines of credit, though). Darling Husband and two of his sibling have picked up these positive habits (although we do have credit cards, but pay them off way before they are ever due), but the other hasn’t (at least not yet). 

    Post # 5
    Member
    10573 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    My parents are responsible with money, and they did teach me a few things about it, but there is quite a bit they didn’t teach me.  I’m also naturally a saver, so I don’t think they felt as much as a need to teach me about finances as they did my sister.  She’s financially responsible now, but she’s always been more of a natural spender.

    I’m fairly financially responsible, but I was making next to nothing on a fairly big chunk of change for a student for years because my mom is someone who is very financially conservative.  It was Darling Husband who convinced me when we were dating to open an account with an online bank where the interest jumped up by a factor of about 500.

    My parents also were fairly secretive about certain things.  I had no clue what my Dad’s salary actually was until I was in my late 20s.  In my late teens I definitely thought that 100k/year would make someone quite well off.  Now I know while that’s a comfortable living it isn’t as rich as I thought back then.

    Post # 6
    Member
    11234 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My mother wasn’t financially responsible (I’m an only child). She made quite a bit of money ($60k, as I learned right after I graduated high school when she was laid off), but couldn’t ever seem to pay the bills. We lived in a tiny house, constantly had bill collectors calling, and had crappy cars. As a result of not being taught about or talked to about money (and just seeing her ignore these things, hoping they’d go away), I had no idea what to do when I had to get a job and move out. I learned it all by trial and error, which included getting into credit card debt and killing my credit score by 19/20. I’ve paid off all of my debts and am working on clearing my report and increasing my score, and I even got approved for a car loan back in March. 

    @AB Bride:  Wow, I’d be rich making $100k/year. With my current bills/lifestyle, I could save 40% of that and qualify for a $460k house, which around here equates to something like this.

    Post # 7
    Member
    10573 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    @vorpalette:  I’m not trying to downplay how much money that is, but after you factor in taxes, it’s not as much as I once thought it was!  It doesn’t provide the type of lifestyle that I thought it did.  The cost most goods are also quite a bit higher here.

    Post # 8
    Member
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I have often said that I learned everything about what NOT to do with money by watching my parents.

    My parents have to be the worse examples of money managers ever – well more so my dad.  My mom was super frugal and would litterly throw up if they had to buy a $2,000 beater car.  My dad however, was a gambling addict, never shared money with my mom, often would not pay the mortgage because he owed others money from personal debts, we’d get threats of eviction all the time, we had food stamps at one point, we got free lunches when I was in elementary school – yet he made like $70k.  My parents only yelled about money.  My mom had no idea where it all went, he’d never share these things.  Ever.  So she had to get a part-time job to just cover the food for the family because dad didn’t trust her if he gave her $100 for groceries.

    When dad passed away this summer, we learned that he spent/blew all of his 401k (we guess gambling, drugs and hookers) and left my mom with $6.13.  Luckily she is getting a monthly pension as income, because my dad could only spend it as it arrived.

    What an awful awful marriage!

    So did they teach me anything?  Only exactly what NOT to do simply by observation.  I would never even believe any advice that did come out of his mouth anyway.

    I am extremely good with money, I make smart financial decisions, I have a very healthy retirement savings and plan to retire before 50.  Luckily my H is very compatible with me in the money department.

     

    How did I turn out like this and not like them?  I really have no clue!  I never made any stupid financial mistakes.  I knew even as a 18 year old in college, that I would work very hard, hold a job, take out as LITTLE student loans as I could.  I knew I wanted to do better than they did I guess.   My sisters did not turn out like me however.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1828 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @AB Bride:  Yes…more for everything and by the time you add up federal, provincial and sales taxes at least HALF your income is gone! FH and I make slightly more than that put together but with 5 of us it doesn’t mean we’re living large. Our bills are paid and we are comfortable but I still worry because I need a new car and we’re still paying on FH’s…stuff like that.

    Post # 10
    Member
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    My parents have done really well and they taught me a lot of the same skills growing up. They could have spoiled me rotten (I did have an awesome childhood though) but they taught me the value of money instead. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    3585 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2000

    Financial responsibility was the #1 issues for me in a spouse. I wasn’t especially interested in getting married, but when the time came Darling Husband would have had NO chance with me without being frugal. How much of his income he hung onto was more important to me than how much money he made.

    It was funny, he was a graduate student when I met him who had a nice solid net worth (had worked ffor some years before grad school) and who had a nice apartment and lifestyle, sharing it with ANTOHER frugal guy. Between the two of them they probably could have purchased the apartment building for cash. But Darling Husband didn’t have a lto of income being a grad school assistant.

    Men who threw money around made me nervous. Well, back then at our age, no one in my circle really had a lot of money. Now that I’m old, people throwing money around is ok, I think it’s great. We’ve all got one foot in the grave so for god’s sake have fun with the money.Smile

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    4049 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    This is actually kind of tough for me to answer. I think overall my parents are rather responsible – they don’t spend more than they have (or can pay off in a reasonable amount of time). They understand work comes first and they can play later. Yet, I don’t think they have must of a retirement. For my mom that is mostly due to her low-wage jobs all her life. For my dad, well, I don’t know. I just don’t think they planned properly for it.

    With that said, I’ve been stressed all my life since I became aware of the concept of money and how tight it has been in my family at times. That has definitely motivated me to plan early because I don’t want to be where my parents are now. I’m also as frugal as can be. Even my mother says so, and that’s saying something coming from her (she and my dad are coupon pros).

    As for my SO, his parents seem to be good with their money, and he isn’t bad either. He definitely saves what he can each month, and overall spends his money wisely. The one thing I have gotten on him for is all the little purchases – a bag of chips, chocolate, etc. That really adds up when you buy so many little things, and I don’t think he realizes it.

    Post # 14
    Member
    10573 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    @pinkshoes:  I still don’t know exactly, but somehow something slipped out in conversation.  I had gone through my teens and 20s not even having a reasonable ballpark figure as to what it was.  I don’t think that was a bad thing when I was young, but when I was older I do think it gave me a slightly misinformed idea as to what is affordable on what type of salary.

    Post # 15
    Member
    11234 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @pinkshoes:  @AB Bride:  Yeah, our cost of living is really low here! However, that means I can support both Fiance and I on $16k takehome. I mean, that sucks, since it means that we have to absolutely watch every last penny and makes saving hard, but our bills get paid, so we’re doing okay. 🙂

    Post # 16
    Member
    2692 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I got my frugality and need to save from my family.  My mom is great at saving.  My father knows how to handle his money but not as well asd my mom. Not sure how good he is at saving but he not a really BI spender. My family are not flashy at all and don’t usually et things unless they need them…even gifts are practical.

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