(Closed) Your personal thoughts on Bridal Showers?

posted 5 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Bridal Showers?
    Tacky because you're asking for extra gifts. : (96 votes)
    33 %
    Not tacky & a must do! Bring on the gifts. : (152 votes)
    53 %
    Other (please post) : (39 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think it’s a nice event for everyone to get together and celebrate with the bride. I think it’s kind of like a birthday party. Everyone that I know shows up with a gift to a birthday party but I wouldn’t call a birthday party a gift grab.

    That being said, I can see how a bridal shower (or any shower) can be perceived that way. I don’t think it’s good etiquette to invite those not invited to the wedding to a shower, unless it’s like a work shower where the guests know they are not invited but wanted to do a little something anyway.

    Personally, I didn’t have a bridal shower nor did I want one. I felt it was a financial burden on those that are hosting and it’s not something I would enjoy since I don’t like being the center of attention like that.

    Post # 4
    595 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I voted “Other” because while I don’t find showers rude I wouldn’t say they are “must-dos” either. From what I understand, traditionally showers were thrown by family friends of the bride in order to help her prepare for married life. This could be through giving her cookware, linens, etc. or general advice. I’ve always viewed showers as a way for women to gather together and offer wisdom and guidance to the bride-to-be. As such, I think they are really lovely and are an excellent way for women who are already married to help their soon-to-be married friend.

    However, I don’t think showers are “must dos” because the bride doesn’t have any say on whether or not a shower is held for her. If family friends, bridesmaids, or soon to be mother-in-law decide to hold one for her then great but the bride and her direct family should not host one because that would be considered gift-grabby and rude.

    Just my two cents! 🙂

    Post # 5
    2951 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 1998

    @erinbacher:  I totally agree with you.

    I think bridal showers and even baby showers are just gift grabby events. I find them so boring and I really don’t look forward to attending them. I love to buy gifts when a baby is born and when i attend a wedding but then you are obligated to buy 2 gifts.

    It all just gets too much IMO!!!

    Post # 6
    5956 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @erinbacher:  I don’t know if it’s just about the gifts, personally I find them to be a pain in the ass. 

    They’re difficult to plan, it’s hard to get an entire bridal party on the same page as far as venue, menu and money.  No matter what happens, at some point, either the bride, the mother of the bride or one of the bridal party will reach critical mass over some minute detail and go supernova, making everyone wish they were dead. 

    On the day of the freaking thing, some weather event WILL occur, ruining everyone hair.  The games are tedious, there’s never enough booze and without fail, Aunt Agnes will creep everyone out with her gift of red lace crotchless panties, thus posturing the remainder of the party into a theraputic excercise where we all try to repress the memory and stop ourselves from wondering how in the hell she even knows about those things in the first place….that’s my two cents anyway, and the exact reason why I didn’t have one.

    Post # 8
    3572 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I love them.  There’s something so special about groups of women getting together to support other women.   I love them the most when they are in restaurants with an open bar.

    Post # 11
    905 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I voted “other” because I don’t find them tacky, per se, but I do also feel that they’re a bit gift grabby. We didn’t have an engagement party, and are unlikely to do any sort of “shower” before the wedding. We live together and are having enough trouble cobbling together a registry big enough for the main event, let alone a preliminary one. Bridal showers are in no way obligatory or necessary. If you want the party, but don’t feel comfortable receiving gifts, you can always have the host(ess) suggest charity donations in lieu of gifts. 


    As a guest, I hate traditional bridal showers. I don’t want to play the inane games and I really don’t want to watch the bride open her gifts for 2+ hours (yes, I went to one of those and I’m still traumatized). I still send gifts out of obligation when invited, but I no longer attend them.

    EDIT: I did attend a wonderful co-ed barbecue shower once. It was amazing. We drank beer, played cornhole, and ate burgers. There was a brief gift opening session that was filled with jokes and fun. Nothing stuffy. 

    Post # 12
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @erinbacher:  That’s a good point about the two gifts. I guess the way it was justified in my circle is that you wouldn’t show up empty-handed to any gathering so your shower gift is your gift for attending this party, if that makes sense. So in a way, it’s like two totally separate events. There’s the wedding; that’s one “party/occasion”. Then there’s the shower, which is a separate party/occasion. In that regard, they sort of have no bearing on each other. For example, when someon invites us for a dinner party, we show up with a nice bottle of wine. For a shower, we show up with a nice gift.

    Just playing Devil’s Advocate here. Again, I don’t care for showers, whether wedding-related or baby-related.

    Post # 13
    242 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    just had my bridal shower this past weekend.  it is unlike anything i’ve ever experienced before and I NEVER want to do it again.  I HATED feeling “greedy”  I already live wiht my fiance. we already have a fully furnished house.  we didn’t need these extra gifts.  I hated sitting in front of a room opening gift after gift and trying to be excited about things that I put on a registry, didn’t need and my friends and family went out and bought them with their hard earned money.  My personal opinion is that probably back in the day showers were a nice gesture that was honestly appreciated.  But for me, i felt more greedy than anything.  don’t get me wrong, I certainly appreciate everything that was given to me. But, maybe I also felt undeserving. 

    Post # 14
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @ArtDecoDC:  Wow, 2+ hours! That’s crazy. I don’t think I even know enough people to open that many gifts in one sitting.

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