Post # 1
we are planning on having a small wedding….about 30 people. We live in ny, my family and friends are here (and mutual friends) and fiances family and some friends are in florida. I would like to have my wedding in florida (my family is totally down) but i feel bad putting a financial strain on my friends by making them travel. at the same time, i did spend a lot of money on my bffs wedding last month, between bachelorette, bridal showerr gift, bridesmaid dress and shoes, makeup the day of, two nights hotel stay and wedding gift. So i can look at it as even right? Lol. I wont be having a bridal shower or bachelorette party. In addition, i wont be having a bridal party so nobody has to buy a $200 dress.I also dont expect a gift if people are having to travel. Those of you who have had destination weddings, did you deal with any issues with family and friends? I wouldnt mind having the wedding here in ny i guess. Just seems more fun andmore beautiful to have it in florida
Post # 2
An invite is an invite. They can decline if they do not want to travel. You will prob have more declines if you have a destination wedding. If you and your Fiance are okay with this then have the wedding you want.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle
I think you have to go into planning a destination wedding knowing that not everyone will be able to come and you have to be okay with that.
My husband’s bestest friend was planning to get married in Punta Cana. It was minimum $3500 for us to go. As much as we wanted to go and as much as we love them, we could not afford it and I wasn’t charging it either. They ended up having the wedding at home and honeymooning in PC because no one could go.
Post # 4
This day and age it can be pretty unavoidable. Just try to find a place that people would maybe want to visit, somewhere with inexpensive flights and a variety of hotel choices. Block hotels early.
Post # 5
alixx: For me, this isn’t a destination wedding; you are each from different places, and so it is inevidetable that some people will have to travel if they attend. It is totally different IMO than a situation in which, for example, all invitees are from London, UK, and are being asked to travel to Cancun, Mexico (just an example).
With that in mind, I would try to stop feeling guilty; as PPs have said, an invitation is not a summons, and so people can decline if, for whatever reason, they cannot make it.
If it makes you feel any better, my (British) friend is marrying her (Australian) boyfriend. They will be getting married in Australia. Everyone understands that people will have to travel; it happens, that because her side is smaller, and gets discoumted air travel, that it will be the Brits doing the travelling – to Australia. No-one has an issue with it. It is what it is. So, if I’m OK with taking 2 weeks off work and travelling 24 hours each way to see my friend married, I’m sure that your friends will do the same if they’re able to.
Post # 6
One side would have to travel anyway, and you’re not “making” anyone do anything. It’s an invite not a summons
Post # 7
I have personally missed out on a few of my closest friends weddings because quite frankly, I couldn’t swing it…between the cost of the flight, the hotel, airport parking or airport transports, paying someone to care for my dog while I travel, gift (nobody ISN’T going to give you a gift), misc expenses on the trip, taking the time off of work, etc…it adds up A LOT faster and higher than people realize…as long as you are genuinely OK if some of your closest friends don’t go, go for it – but it isn’t fair to expect anyone to go because of what you have done for them in the past, or your relationship with them.
Post # 8
As long as you’re not butthurt if some of your close friends and family decline, don’t worry about the travel. If it’s in the time and money budget, they’ll come.
Post # 9
alixx: Fi is from Massachusetts and I am from So Cal. No matter where we have the wedding someone will have to travel. Just give people pleanty of time and notice and everything should be fine!
Post # 10
@Sumshine.dawn this is true! Where will you have the wedding you think?
Post # 11
You can’t “make” anyone travel to your wedding no matter where you have it.
It sounds as if people are going to have to travel either way–as long as you are comfortable knowing many of your NY friends may not be able to make it, regardless of how much you’ve spent for their events, plan your wedding where you’d like to have it.
Post # 12
alixx: We are having it in Massachusetts since we live here. Gave my family two years to plan/ we are doing premarital counsling. But yeah giving everyone ample time is key
Post # 13
This is the reason Fiance and I are eloping or having a tiny wedding – he’s from the South and I’m from New England. All our families/friends live on opposite sides of the country, so either way, someone will have to travel.
It just doesn’t really seem feasible to ask people to travel when: they have kids, jobs, school, other vacations they’d rather go on, tight budgets, pets, bills, etc.
The only people I’d travel to a destination wedding for are my sister or best friend. Anyone else? Sorry, but nope.
I’d expect a lot of people to decline, so don’t get your hopes up! Plan the wedding you want and the people who want to be there, will.
Post # 14
You can’t force people to travel. No matter what you have done for your friends, they may choose to not attend for any number of reasons that you will not know about. You can’t force anyone to go, you can’t/shouldn’t ask reasons if they decline. If you choose to get married away from your friends, simple solution is to have a low key party with them afterwards. Not necessarily another full blown reception expecting gifts, but just a celebration with them. Even if you have it near your friends some may choose not to come. No big deal.
Post # 15
No matter where your wedding is, some people are going to have to travel to it. I also think your situation of having the wedding in FL where FI’s family is is different from having the wedding in random tourist location. Your guests will decide themselves whether or not they can attend.