(Closed) Your thoughts on men who look at porn.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Do you think you are insecure or jealous if you don't like your SO to watch porn or check out women?
    No, it's perfectly normal to not be okay with that : (136 votes)
    30 %
    Yes, they should be able to look or watch as much as they want : (99 votes)
    22 %
    Occasional is fine : (219 votes)
    48 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4824 posts
    Honey bee

    your poll isnt working,

    I dont think I would care honestly, but depends on the frequency. Darling Husband doesnt do it at all. In fact I asked him to buy some for us, and he was too embarassed.

    Post # 3
    Member
    14494 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Eh, I don’t care if Darling Husband watches or looks at it whenever he wants.  I will not let him do it on my computer, but that is because of virus threats from those sites and this is our only computer.  Men are just far more sexual creatures than women, I understand that, and just don’t care. IMO

    Post # 4
    Member
    704 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I wish I could say I wasn’t jealous over it but it does get to me a little. A little. Not enough to keep me thinking about it for more than a minute, to bring up arguments, or to even mention it, but I always found porn links popping up on my ex’s computer when I was using it and I’d get a twinge of “ick” feelings for a few seconds.

    I’m not against it, cause I like porn myself sometimes but I guess for me it’s one of those things that are out of sight, out of mind. I don’t care if my SO likes porn, I just don’t care to know, specifically, what it is he’s looking at. Clear the computer’s history, cookies, and saves, and everything is golden.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1133 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think all men do it, whether or not they swear to you that they dont, lol. I think if it doesn’t interfere with your sex life, and it doesn’t interfere with life in general then it’s fine. I think it’s healthy. It doesn’t mean that our men don’t want us, they are visual creatures….I have no problems with it. An open dialogue is important I think!

    Post # 6
    Member
    915 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I don’t mind him looking at videos but I would be put off if he was looking at still pictures. I know he looks at it and I don’t care but I don’t want to know when or what. One time I opened the computer and a video was still playing, I was really annoyed, I was all “ugh can you please close out of this shit and delete your history when your finished!”

    The reason I don’t mind videos is because I feel like its the sex and action itself that is turning him on. Just a picture of a girl would make me feel like he is fantasizing about that girl and her big boobs, which even if that’s normal I don’t like the thought of that. I agree I am insecure with my body and that is why that bothers me.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    As long as our bedroom life doesn’t suffer… why not? I look at it too, so I’m certainly not going to stop my Fiance from doing it. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    452 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    K, so here’s the deal. My ex (we were together for 6 years) used to look at a lot of porn. It didn’t really bother me that much, but then I found out that he was having sexual conversations with women in chat rooms, or on msn messenger. When confronted with this, it turned out that these sexual conversations had led to him actually meeting these women and having sex with them. Which is why he’s now my ex. SO, if there seems to be an unhealthy interest in pornography, I’d be worried that it could develope into something more.

     

    Thats my 2 cents worth from personal experience.

    Post # 9
    Member
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I don’t like to *think* about it a whole lot, but it doesn’t bother me. As long as he’s still paying attention to me, we’re cool!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1370 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I’m not okay with my husband watching porn/looking at pictures and fantasising about other women and looking at other women the way he should only be looking at me.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3981 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    To me, checking out other women and looking at porn are two seperate things. I don’t care about porn. I don’t always want to do things when he wants to and so it gives him some relief. I also may not be willing to do some things he likes so, porn is the only place he will “get” it. He always is there and ready and excited when I am ready and still loves being with me more than anything else. He doesn’t actually want to be with any of those women. Now, checking out other women? Not okay. I mean, I am not going to pretend there aren’t other women he finds attractive and there are other men I find attractive. But I don’t want to be with any of them and neither does he. Actively checking out women, to me, implies there is a sexual intention or association. Lucky for me, Mr. Hedgie doesn’t do that.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I dont care about porn, and my fiance doesnt look at other women because of his own values (it wouldnt bother me that much honestly if he did chose to do so). Hes a bit more conventional than I am tho. Ultimately its about communication between the couple in question and what both of them are comfy with. So I guess my answer is…whatever floats your boat?

    Post # 13
    Member
    330 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I dont like it because I am insecure about myself, I dont get mad at him but he knows it makes me uncomfortable…

    Post # 14
    Member
    5800 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Don’t care. I don’t expect my Darling Husband to never notice another woman ever again. As long as I still get some he can check as many ladies as he likes. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    7291 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

     

    Some people don’t care and that’s cool.

    Whats important is that both people agree and are on the same page about these issues!

    For me personally, my marriage is a sacred and holy covenant. Another woman, no matter how she is involved ( images, videos, etc) would be a violation of it.

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