(Closed) Your thoughts on men who look at porn.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Do you think you are insecure or jealous if you don't like your SO to watch porn or check out women?

    No, it's perfectly normal to not be okay with that

    Yes, they should be able to look or watch as much as they want

    Occasional is fine

  • Post # 45
    Member
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

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    @redheadem:  Oh no it’s definitely not “out there” it’s on his phone and invisible and password protected. He’s good at that kind of thing. I have no idea how to do that stuff on phones/computers but he does.

    I believe him because he’s quit/given up other things because he knows I’m uncomfortable with it. For example he smoked pot before we started dating and I never told him he had to stop when we did but I made it very clear that I was extremely uncomfortable with it and that I didn’t want to be around him when he was smoking/high/etc. I didn’t want to hear about it or talk about it at all.

    His response was “anything that keeps me from you is not worth doing” so he quit. 🙂 So when he says he doesn’t watch it I believe him.

    Post # 46
    Member
    33 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I think I watch more than he does.  Who said men get to be the more sexual creatures?  😉

    Post # 48
    Member
    1222 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @roe

     

    Thanks so much! I get so pissed when women say, “oh ALL men looks at porn, seriously ALL men do.” etc etc. I know Darling Husband did occasionally in his college years but he doesn’t (absolutely) now. I mean he is never at home alone anyway, he’s at work while I’m at school, he doesn’t have an internet savvy phone, he doesn’t have time at work, and most importantly he isn’t Inclined to do it.

    I never felt strongly against porn until I was sexually assaulted when I was 19 and since then, even the thought of it makes me feel terrible, and Darling Husband knows this and absolutely respects it.

    Post # 50
    Member
    344 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    View original reply
    @KatyElle:  lol my thoughts exactly girl. 

    Post # 51
    Member
    1667 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    it depends on DH’s reaction to it. As an example, we watched old 80’s porn one time with a group of friends (Debbie Does Dallas anyone? Mullet city!) because we thought it was hilarious, not because we acheived sexual gratification from it. So in that sense, it didn’t bother me at all, but him locked up in a room watching porn just to get a rise (pun intended), that, I would not be ok with.

    Post # 52
    Member
    1310 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

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    @Roe:  I definitely agree with you. Not EVERY man looks at porn. I know my SO doesn’t. He knows that it bothers and disgusts me, he knows that if he needs “relief”, I am always excited for it, etc. We are very open, we both use each others computers, phones, etc. He said if I am ever feeling insecure about something, to feel free and look at his stuff because he has nothing he wants to hide from me. I’ve definitely checked his history before (sorry. I am guilty). And, no offense to my man, but he is not really computer smart. I am really good with computers and he is always asking me for help with them….he’s got all his history on there, all his cookies, etc. he doesn’t delete crap. He literally spends 98% of  the time on his computer looking at…..BEER. Rare and craft beers he wants to buy on ebay. So, it bothers me when girls say every man does it and that they’re just hiding it, etc. Because I am certain he doesn’t, and if the history and his word aren’t enough..he is very rarely home when i’m not to even have the chance.

    Post # 53
    Member
    704 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

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    @amelieisme:   I didn’t like the explicit photo and the fact that he was doing this while I was out running errands!


    Ohhh…you just rminded me of this one time I came home from my friend’s wake after he had committed suicide. I was still with my ex who couldn’t come to the wake so I let him stay at my house to support me later. I came home and found his porn links saved to my computer when I got home. I flipped. Was not happy at all that I allowed him to stay in my house and while I was mourning the loss of a friend, he was jacking off. I was like “Use your imagination or control yourself for once! I don’t wanna see this sh-t after I come home from a wake!”

     

    Post # 54
    Member
    87 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2006

    I don’t mind him watching videos (I’ll watch with him sometimes). I don’t let him look online though…I think that has more to do with them being more like “real” people to me (and because I’m afraid it could cause a computer virus).

    As for looking at women in public, I don’t like it. It makes me feel like I’m not good enough. I told my Darling Husband that and he is much better about it now.

    Post # 55
    Member
    13095 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    For me – so long is it isn’t negatively affecting our sex life together or our time spent together, I don’t care if Darling Husband watches porn.

    He watches it, I watch it on occasion, we have watched it together in the past – I think it can be quite healthy.

    Post # 56
    Member
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    It doesn’t mean you are insecure.  There are many rational reasons not to condone porn.  To me it is a deal breaker.  I also do not condone places that objectify women.  I think porn contributes to an odd view of sex.  It is like prepackaged commercial milkshake.  No thank you, I will make my own.

    I also view sex as an experience between two people, without any outsiders involved.  Our sex life is ours, and no images, videos, etc. are welcomed.  And we don’t need it!  🙂

    Post # 57
    Member
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

    In our relationship it is something we would use together. Neither one of uses it on our own. Whatever works for other couples is between them, but not cool in our house. And I do know that Darling Husband doesn’t watch it when I am not home and I know he doesn’t lie about it, so that statement can eat my shorts.

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