(Closed) Your thoughts on men who look at porn.

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Do you think you are insecure or jealous if you don't like your SO to watch porn or check out women?

    No, it's perfectly normal to not be okay with that

    Yes, they should be able to look or watch as much as they want

    Occasional is fine

  • Post # 74
    Member
    2148 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I dated a guy who on days I didn’t see him, watched porn online. He would wind up deleting the browser history because he knew I hated it. I’d be up for watching together, I think…but I don’t like the idea of him watching it alone. My SO is very, very honest and will tell me things I don’t necessarily want to hear, and I’ve asked him if he looks, and he says no. I genuinely think he’d tell me if he did, and I also know he has absolutely no time for it. I prefer it that way! haha

    Post # 75
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I feel like its totally different for different relationships. If a porn-user is upfront and honest about it from the get go, and their partner is ok with it then good for them. But I think the reality of the matter is that a lot of people lie about watching porn..and anytime someone lies about anything (especially something as sensitive as seeking sexual gratification outside of the relationship) thats a huge issue. For me personally, I cant stand the way porn objectifies women. Of course there is porn out there that doesnt do that, but for the most part I think it does. I also feel that it is a form of cheating/infidelity (again just my opinion). When you are committing your life to someone through sickness/health etc etc, it should be assumed that not getting sexual pleasure from anyone but your spouse (unless, like I said, you are honest with your partner and they are ok with it). The other problem I see with porn is the fact that its so easily accessible and can quickly become an actual addiction. The argument that men are sexual beings who cant control their urges doesnt make sense to me. I feel like we dont give guys enough credit. We treat them like they are incapable of keeping it in their pants and therefore shouldnt be held responsible for looking at other girls, instead we should be greatful that they didnt actually go out and have an affair. Men have frontal lobes just like women, and are just as capable of making good decisions and avoiding temptation. I love chocolate..possibly more than life..I crave it all the time, but that doesnt mean that I shouldnt be held responsible when I go out and binge..its a decision I made, and I should have to deal with the consequences like an adult. What happened before porn was easily available?..sure men in cities were able to go to brothels, and a lot of men cheated, but Im pretty sure most just had sex with their wives (yes sometimes they raped their wives), and masturbated without needing to look at a woman besides your wife. Again, if both parties agree that its okay in their relationship, then more power to you. in my own relationship it would be a breach of trust and a betrayal…but obviously that view is in the minority

    Post # 76
    Member
    4354 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Once in a while is fine and would not bother me in the least but if it is taking place of human interaction or occuring on an addition type level (missing work or social functions, not doing anything at home except watching or even NEEDING to watch it on a daliy basis or he can’t function) then I see a problem with that.

    Post # 77
    Member
    329 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I probably watch more porn than my husband *blushes* is that bad? lol He travels alot and well a girl has needs! We watch alone, together, etc. If he was looking at it constantly everyday, I’d have a problem with it mostly due to the fact that he was sacrficing time that could be spent with me, rather than the act of it.

    I never compare the men in porn to my husband (except in a what the hell is that ugly guy doing in this movie?) , so for those that feel insecure, I really wouldn’t be.

    Rather than get defensive, I’d have an open, not abrasive talk about it. He has needs, you have needs, you have to reach an understanding.

    Post # 78
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    View original reply
    @handcraftedromance:  “The argument that men are sexual beings who cant control their urges doesnt make sense to me. I feel like we dont give guys enough credit. We treat them like they are incapable of keeping it in their pants and therefore shouldnt be held responsible for looking at other girls, instead we should be greatful that they didnt actually go out and have an affair.”

    Yes. Yes. This.

    Also, readily accessible pornography thats viewed as a common/normal thing for men to engage in is a very Western idea to begin with. Saying “all men do it,” also tends to exclude men from different cultures and backgrounds from the get-go.

    Men do it if they decide to. Many do, some don’t. Just like some women choose not to masturbate. Do most? Probably! But not everyone enjoys the same things sexually, so lets quit it with the blanket statements.

    Post # 79
    Member
    191 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I personally feel that if my husband were to look st something like porn that it is considered cheating. I’m sorry… Beasier waited till marriage go sex and that’s all for Christian reasons and such. But also, I feel that a man should be experiencing sexual pleasure from his wife and wife only. Not 20 other women . I can be jealous…but it’s not about that. I just feel its wrong…

    Post # 80
    Member
    4474 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Thoughts on men who look at porn…wouldn’t it just be “thoughts on men”?

     

    I don’t like the idea of my guy getting off by watching another girl, so I try not to think about it much.  Fact of life is most guys look at porn.  As long as it doesn’t interfere with our relationship, I’m ok with it.

    Post # 81
    Member
    1084 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Porn I have no issue with as long as it isn’t replacing our sex life.

    Checking out women is different story though. If he is going to do it, he better be subtle about it, otherwise he gets a jab in the ribs!

    Post # 82
    Member
    231 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’ve always felt that so long as it didn’t turn into a full blown addiction, it’s not an issue.

    He’s told me that he’s looked at it while I’ve not been around, and I’ve never found it troubling. They’re just actors after all, and ultimately he only wants me, so I’m happy 🙂

    Post # 83
    Member
    262 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I can’t believe the poll results on this matter.

    I always have been and always will be against porn.

    My FH does not watch/look at any of the vile stuff and he never will if he knows whats good for him.

    All I can say is no matter what age these “adults” are, they are someone’s daughters and sons and it shouldn’t be encouraged.

    My FH is happy with what he has and has no need for trashy sites.

    My vent/opinion.

    Post # 84
    Member
    509 posts
    Busy bee

    Just my thoughts…but he should commit to YOU, not all those other women. It’s not that you shouldn’t trust HIM, you shouldn’t trust his FLESH. It’s hard for a man to protect his mind this day-and-time, but that doesn’t mean it’s IMPOSSIBLE. And in my opinion, it is definitely NO EXCUSE to NOT TRY to protect your mind.

    Post # 86
    Member
    404 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    What do you do when your boyfriend mostly watches Barely Legal porn??

    BARELY LEGAL.

    Omg it does my head in…

    Post # 87
    Member
    251 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m sorry but i’ve never met a man who doesn’t and watching porn is a perfectly normal behavior.  IF you’ve found yourself one who doesn’t watch it great for you but he is the minority.  It honestly used to be an issue for me when I was alot younger and realized that it’s not a big deal.  If it was like an everyday habit i’d say thats a problem but otherwise it’s ok by me.  For all the “You guys need to cut it out with the “if he says he doesn’t, he probably is lying to you” bullshit.” girls i’m sorry but it is fact that the majority of men do watch it.

    Post # 88
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    View original reply
    @UpstateNYPrincessBride:  I’m not taking issue with the fact that the majority of men do it. I don’t disupute that in the US it is exceedingly common. Our culture is saturated with it and most attitudes treat it as normal.

    I’m taking issue with the posters who come on here, read experieces that differ from theirs and decide that those other experiences cannot possibly exist because they haven’t existed for them. Then they, including you, say or imply “sorry, ladies, you are being lied to. the men I know enjoy it so obviously this applies to all men evaaar. hopefully you don’t mind that your Fiance is clearly lying to you constantly! hehe lighten up!”

    So you assume that your knowledge of men in general 1. applies to my SO, whom you’ve never met? and 2. means he’s obviously lying to me because his tastes and morals can’t possibly differ from those of your man? Swell. How insightful.

    The topic ‘Your thoughts on men who look at porn.’ is closed to new replies.

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