(Closed) your thoughts (random questions)

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Would you tell your FI/SO about the one nite stand ?
    Hell no what good came come from it? : (10 votes)
    40 %
    Absolutely honest is the best policy : (6 votes)
    24 %
    I would only if asked but I wouldnt tell otherwise : (9 votes)
    36 %
    Other (please explain) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2755 posts
    Sugar bee

    Probably. I’ve only ever slept with Fiance, but he knows about all of my previous relationships/hookups. We don’t have issues with jealousy and I believe honesty is the best thing possible. I think ultimately, it’d be good for him to know but I can’t see it bothering him that I slept with someone because I’m with him now, I’m marrying him and he knows my loyalty is unwavering.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5797 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    No, I believe the past belongs in the past. What’s the point of making him feel awkward if there’s absolutely no chance anything will ever happen again?

    Post # 5
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Hmmm, interesting. I guess it would depend on how close we were to the person in question. I think I wouldn’t, unless directly asked if I’ve hooked up with any of my friends. My husband and I were friends long before we were ever lovers, so we do still hang out with people we’ve slept with, but we both knew about it before the relationship was ever in the works

    Post # 7
    Member
    266 posts
    Helper bee

    hmm, hard question. eventhough i dont think that i would still be close to someone that i had a fling with, i would tell my Fiance. the first reason being that i would want to know if he had a fling with some one that he was still close with.

    i guess men wouldnt tell their SO because they would probably have to stop talking to that person or they are trying to avoid any problems, but i cant think of a bigger problem then it coming out at a later date by accident.

    Post # 8
    Member
    14661 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    No.  We choose to not really go back and discuss all the nitty gritty details of our past.

    Post # 9
    Member
    7777 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    No, I probably wouldn’t. The past is the past, IMO.

    Post # 11
    Member
    6998 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I don’t know, I dont think i would willingly bring it up – Though I do have a friend that I had a brief romantic relationship with. We were best friend for years before it ever became romantic and it was a brief couple months one summer quite a few years ago before he left for florida to finish school. We stayed friends and though he doesnt play a huge part in my life i still consider us good friends (one of those people that if you dont talk to them for a while things don’t change and you kinda just pick up where you left off) I invited him to our wedding and my husband was not happy about it. I had to explain that our friendship completely overpowered any romantic feelings and it was really brief.- 2 months out of the 7+ year friendship. – He still wasn’t happy about it but my friend came anyway – luckily he doesnt live in state so I don’t have to deal with it. my husband doesnt care that i talk to him but i don’t think he likes the idea of hanging out with someone i’ve slept with. Kinda makes me sad, they would really get along.

    Post # 12
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Pasts should not be discussed.

    Think of it like this men do NOT wanna know where their loved ones have been… they like typically like to think they fairly innocent. Blah blah blah… that’s why men don’t tell. Women think they want to know “everything about their partner… blah blah blah made them who they are blah blah blah” so women share, but their men don’t *really* want to know.

    Post # 13
    Member
    4371 posts
    Honey bee

    Goodness no, I would not bring it up. What is the point? I don’t want to know if Darling Husband did either. IMO, no good can possibly come of it. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    266 posts
    Helper bee

    @soon2bnixon:  i agree i would expect for him to tell me and wouldnt pry either, but if i was to find out about it later a would be a little upset that he didnt mention it earlier. especially if it was with someone that close. my Fi and I are really open about our past relationships and it has really never bothered me that he is more “experienced” then i am.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

    I would tell and I would want to know. I think it awkward to be in a room with someone that your SO slept with and everybody in the room knows it except for you.

    I have been in this position and it actually really pissed me off. I couldn’t understand why this person was so short and rude to me. Turns our they were hooking up right before we go ttogether and once he met me he dropped her. This was a really long time ago (over 6 years), but it still annoys me that my now Darling Husband wasnt honest about the situation.

    Post # 16
    Member
    266 posts
    Helper bee

    @ieatunicorns:  

    I would tell and I would want to know. I think it awkward to be in a room with someone that your SO slept with and everybody in the room knows it except for you.

    This ^^

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