Post # 1
I’m not wondering what the traditional roles of the Maid/Matron of Honor are, or what you think other people’s views on the Maid/Matron of Honor role are. I am interested in your own personal answer to this question:
What are your expectations of your MOH? What actions constitute fulfillment of her role?
I’ll go first. :}
– acquire her own outfit for the wedding
– go dress shopping at the vintage shop with me (* even though I won’t be purchasing from there… I just want ONE actual dress shopping experience) (** I mean and who knows – maybe by magic I WILL find “the dress” there?)
– listen to me talk about the wedding/brainstorm with me
– help me plan a mild batchelorette “”party”” (party might be a little strong of a word)
– attend the above
– attend ~2 other “wedding weekend” events
– attend the wedding
– possibly make a speech? (her choice)
Post # 3
Let’s see .. I had the following expectations
if your schedule allows, join me in dress shopping if not.. meh
Find a dress in navy blue for under $100.00
find a fg dress for her daughter
come to FL for my wedding
help me celebrate my wedding by dancing her butt off at my reception.
she did it all !!
Post # 4
I’m not having a Maid/Matron of Honor but my expectations for my 3 BM’s are the same
– come dress shopping with me if you can – they all did
– come to pick out your dress (same color, their choice of style)
– come to the wedding and have fun
That’s it. Some of them are better at helping than others, some of them ask about planning, some don’t. All of that is cool 🙂
ETA: 2 of them offered to plan a bachlorette. That was totally them though, and not anything I asked. my Future Sister-In-Law is doing the shower
Post # 5
Maid/Matron of Honor will be my sister. I just want her to:
- Get a dress, we will shop together
- Attend wedding/rehearsal
- Get ready with me that morning
I guess I’m pretty simple. I don’t expect much, anything else is just the cherries on top. She has mentioned being excited to plan a shower for me, so that’s great. But now she’s moving this summer many hours away so that may fall through – oh well.
Post # 7
Come along for wedding dress shopping when she can.
Be there for my shower and rehersal dinner (note: she is local, and we made sure to schedule these events around the important people’s schedules – and she was definitely one of them! – to make sure they could attend.)
Hang out with me while I get ready for the wedding
Wear a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress we agreed on – which was pretty easy, she wasn’t picky and didn’t try to make it about her style, but we have fairly similar taste and she pretty much just went along with whatever I liked, and I let them do whatever they wanted for hair, shoes, etc. I kinda hated the shoes she wore but kept my mouth shut, because really, is anyone going to remember what shoes the Maid/Matron of Honor wore besides me and her? No.
She did also end up putting together a bachelorette party for me (well, more of a bachelorette sleepover, that was much more my style, I don’t really enjoy going out to the club or drinking.), but it wasn’t something I expected. At the time of my wedding she had a one year old that she was the single mother of, and I knew she was really scraping to make ends meet and was obviously super busy between working and caring for her son, so I paid for her dress as her gift. I get kinda frustrated with brides who expect their MOH/BMs to fork over a ton of money, travel for a ton of different events, help them do all their DIY stuff…I just wanted her to be excited for me and be my best friend like she always is!
Post # 8
My Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister & my expectations are pretty simple because 1) she’s still in college & working pretty much full-time to make ends meet & 2) she lives in GA while me & my wedding are in CA…But I expect her to:
-give me honest input re: how she feels about the dress – I’m pretty open to anything they wanna wear but they keep telling me to pickout something for them but I wanna make sure they will feel and look beautiful
-buy said dress
-show up at the rehearsal dinner and maybe go out drinking with me afterwards
-show up and hang out with me before the wedding & attend the wedding & reception
-I’d like her & my Bridesmaid or Best Man to go to the river with me if they get here a few days before the wedding to hang out, go tubing, & relax but it all depends on the schedule.
Post # 9
-buy her dress
-come to rehersal dinner and have fun
-show up on the day of my wedding and have fun
Post # 10
I am the Maid/Matron of Honor is my Best Friend’s wedding this May and she’ll be mine in May/June of 2014. We have always had a relationship like a great marriage (20+ yrs will do that) where it is always about understanding and being the ONE person who will understand your side no matter what. Neither of us have any expectatoins beyond showing up for the wedding. BUT we both will go above and beyond for each other.
I think that tradition is nice but unrealistic sometimes (especially in this economy). Friendship, like a marriage is about give and take which is not always equal.
Sorry to get preachy and/or mushy but I just try not to get too hung up on “what everyone expects”. 🙂
I have to say though that I haven’t always liked being a Bridesmaid or Best Man but I LOVE being a Maid/Matron of Honor 🙂
Post # 11
@BrewCityBRIDE2014: But you admit that if she were suddenly to become distant and unavailable that would somewhat defy your… expectations, shall we say?
Ha ha ha.
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
Buy a dress
Provide me with an old and comfy pair of shoes (or buy ones very cheap… she got hers for $2) to glitter for her
Plan a bachelorette and help plan a shower – our group of friends always makes sure this happens, even if we aren’t ALL bridesmaids… without stepping on other bridesmaids toes of course! Thats only why I kind of “expect” it, simply because they are wonderful amazing ladies and I know they will make it happen 🙂 I have such great friends!!!!
Be there for the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner/hopefully she will spend the night with me at the B&B
Be there to stand beside me and be her stunning, beautiful self!!!
Post # 13
@makemake: Well yeah, if my best friend is suddenly distant and I feel like she’s avoiding me I’m going to be concerned – but not because OMG she’s my Maid/Matron of Honor and I need her….because she’s my best friend (your Maid/Matron of Honor should be your best friend, after all, that’s kinda the point). I’d ask her what’s going on, but not in a ‘I need you for my wedding!’ kind of a way, but more in a concerned way, wondering what’s going on with her, if something’s wrong. It seems to me like usually when people are having Maid/Matron of Honor issues, the Maid/Matron of Honor either isn’t acting like a friend at all, or the OP says right in their post that this friend of theirs has always been selfish or jealous or whatever…but then they seem surprised that this hasn’t magically changed because they’re getting married.
Post # 15
I expect my Maid/Matron of Honor to:
- pick her dress so I can buy it already…this has been the only source of stress during my entire planning
- buy her own shoes
- come to the rehearsal
- get ready with me in the morning
- tell me I look pretty
- carry my train before the ceremony
- make a toast at the reception
Post # 16
My Maid/Matron of Honor is going to be out of the country up until the actual wedding. I pretty much expect her to show up, wear the dress/shoes/makeup we select for her TOGETHER, and help me get ready and not freak out the day of.