(Closed) Your wedding guests — how many are people you do not really care about?

posted 6 years ago in Reception
  • poll: How many of your wedding guests are people neither one of you really care about?

    one half or more

    a third

    a quarter

    a few

    one or two

    everyone who is invited is someone at least one of us cares about

  • Post # 2
    9519 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    We have small families, if we wanted them they would have been invited. Why invite -and pay- for people you don’t care about? Maybe with large families it’s a different dynamic. 

    Post # 3
    1435 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    We’re having 11 guests and there’s one person I’d much rather wasn’t there.

    It’s FI’s sister’s BF. I’ve made the argument that they’re not engaged, living together or married, so he doesn’t HAVE to be invited, but Fiance is adament that he should come to save the peace.

    He’s not a bad guy, I’ve only met him twice and he seems OK. My concern was that with such a small guestlist, I really only wanted people who where important to us.

    Post # 4
    7881 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We were very selective with our guest list because we specifically wanted to celebrate with people we cherished. One of DH’s good friends wanted to bring his long distance girlfriend whom we did not know, but it was fine. She was very nice, and it would be adorable if we ended up attending their wedding in the future. 

    Post # 5
    5356 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2016

    None. We are having 12 guest. 

    Post # 6
    123 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: Beach

    Though I don’t know all of his family (they live all over the place), I know that inviting them meant a lot to him, so I was glad to include them! We only invited 85 people. I couldn’t imagine inviting and paying for people that we didn’t know or want to see there. Why would you waste money or thoughts on these people?

    I actually didn’t invite any of my dad’s side of the family (which is HUGE), because they’ve thrown conversion parties for me (I’m an open atheist and they’re evangelical Christians) and they said I was going to hell for having my best friend (who is a gay man) as my Best Man. I also didn’t invite my aunt who is really flaky. Every time she says she’ll come to something and doesn’t show up, my grandma cries, which makes me really upset. 

    Post # 7
    1650 posts
    Bumble bee

    If I didnt care about them I wouldnt invite them.

    Post # 8
    760 posts
    Busy bee

    My Father-In-Law and my mother and stedad are paying for the food portion of the wedding so I really don’t get a final say in who is and is not invited when it comes to their choices. With that being said, I told them all when we first started planning that I wanted a smallish wedding of about 130 people. Our venue can hold about 200 comfortably and I wish I hadn’t told them that because the number has jumped to about 160. Hopefully at least 10-15 people do not show up. That would make me happy because my thought all along was to have plenty of room for people to move and dance and not be packed in like sardines. It’s a lot of neighbors and work friends and what I like to call “this person’s uncle’s sister’s childhood friend” since there will be at least 50 people I don’t really know. And then my Fiance has these “great friends” who I have never met in the 4 years we’ve been together but apparently they were his best friends… whatevs. The more the merrier.

    Post # 9
    918 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    We only invited people who are really important to us (plus a few +1’s) and I strongly suggest limiting your guest list this way, if possible!

    I feel like a lot of the threads on this website would be eliminated if people did the same.  For example, of the 81 who RSVP’d that they would attend, all but 2 showed.  One was a +1 (we had a feeling this would happen but invited anyways) and one was my uncle who couldn’t prevent his circumstances.  People who really truly care about you are much more likely to actually show up, compared to co-workers or acquaintances who see it more as a casual social event.  Also, had we invited more people, it would have been REALLY hard to give everyone face time.

    Post # 10
    1609 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I invited all the friends and family I wanted to be there plus their SOs (regardless of if they were married/engaged/etc) and plus ones. I don’t consider someone’s SO to be someone I don’t care for as they are important to someone important to me. We had about 85 people there.

    Post # 11
    335 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I have a huge, close-knit family – but I’m not personally close to everyone. So I’m stuck: they all get invited, because there really is no way to get one cousin and not the other 13 (yes, 13). And their spouses. And oh dear god, their kids.  It’s the kids that are killing me. I like kids at weddings, but we could end up with a third of the people there being kids. It’s what happens when you marry later in life.

    Post # 12
    358 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Just one (a friend of my MIL).  We are having a small wedding for a reason…we don’t like people.  Lol.

    Post # 13
    756 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I would say a full 75%.

    We also have only a 50% acceptance, so I guess they felt the same! haha

    Post # 14
    913 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2015 - The Victorian


    View original reply
    Carolsays:  We’re having about 100 people, with the guest list split pretty evenly between the 2 of us. I can honestly say there is not one person on my list that I’m not absolutely excited about seeing on my wedding day. Is it November yet?!?!

    Post # 15
    1662 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’d say about half we didn’t care about. We had about 250 people. My parents invited a lot of their friends that I don’t see or talk to a lot, but they paid for everything (and let us make every decision) so I didn’t have a problem having their friends there. 

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