(Closed) You're a girlfiriend, do you expect to be a bridesmaid?

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: You're a girlfiriend, do you expect to be a bridesmaid?
    Yes : (8 votes)
    3 %
    No : (240 votes)
    97 %
  • Post # 3
    2626 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014


    Post # 4
    8990 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012


    Post # 5
    7109 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Nope. I definitely would not expect to be asked. Even as a SIL I wouldn’t expect to be asked if we didn’t have a close elationship.

    Post # 6
    2117 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I never expect to be a bridesmaid.



    Post # 7
    26 posts

    I was the girlfriend in this situation last year and didn’t even expect to be invited! Granted, it was a very small wedding.

    Post # 8
    2688 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Nope.  Not unless we were super close.

    Post # 9
    401 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @inspiration86:  I would never expect this, though whether a bride would decide to have her brother’s girlfriend as a bridesmaid really depends on the relationship between the bride and the girlfriend.

    I’m having my brother’s girlfriend, but not because it’s “expected” in any way.  They are quite serious, live together, and I fully anticipate that one day she will be my sister in law–but more importantly, I love her and we have a very good friendship.  I’d want her as a BM whether she was my brother’s girlfriend or if we knew one another some other way. 

    Post # 10
    7656 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I wouldn’t expect to be a bridesmaid in anyone’s wedding, so no.

    Post # 11
    663 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    @inky_ +1 Seriously.

    I wouldn’t expect to be a bridesmaid until I was asked.

    Post # 12
    526 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    The only weddings I’d ever expect to be a bridesmaid in would be my sister’s and my BFF’s.  

    The key to this post is not whether or not another sister-in-law was asked, but rather, it’s the fact that the girlfriend and future SIL do not share a close relationship.  Why would you ask someone to be a BM with whom you don’t have a close relationship?  Doesn’t make sense to me.

    Post # 13
    969 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Nope. I answered your other post a few days ago 😉


    Don’t sweat it if you don’t want her in your wedding party. Your BMs are YOUR choice!

    Also, if you don’t feel close enough to ask her, she may not feel comfortable being asked, either.

    Post # 15
    3025 posts
    Sugar bee

    @inspiration86:  No way. I wouldn’t even expect to be a bridesmaid if I was married to the brother, even though I did this for my DH’s sister and sister in law. 

    Post # 16
    969 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Your FMIL is wrong because it isn’t “appropriate”. I don’t know why people have to have their say in someone else’s wedding!

    I just think that, if your relationship isn’t very strong to begin with, she might not feel comfortable being asked to be in it anyway. For example, I’m not close to my SIL (I like her but we are not close and never really each other, except for holidays), and if she asked me to be in her wedding, I would probably say yes, BUT I would feel awkward/not really know what to do. Plus, being a BM may involve a lot of parties, etc, involving the bride and her friends… If she isn’t close with you and isn’t close with any friends, it might be awkward. Not saying it WILL be awkward for her, but committing to someone you don’t know very well could be pretty uncomfortable.

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