(Closed) You're abusing the system comment from my "friend"

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 77
676 posts
Busy bee

To me the reaction of American bees is very interesting – because the Canadian system is better at looking after their maternity / childcare benefit than yours the OP shouldn’t take issue?!? That seems rather unfair. The system in Ireland would shock you all child benefit is not means tested, earn €30k or earn €125k every month you receive the same payment for your child. Obviously someone receiving social welfare will get an additional payment they are entitled to due to their employment status, childrens allowance till you child is 18!and free GP visits for under 6s are for everyone. 

OP don’t worry, I believe pregnancy hormones can play havoc on emotions, your friend probably snapped and is over it. You take what your entitled to. 

Post # 79
2051 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Wow – I still can’t get over the fact that Canadians receive a check from the government each month for having a baby?!?!  Mind blown! (US bee here lol)

Post # 81
4251 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

View original reply
railroaderwifeyxo :  I really don’t care if she is, but I don find it ironic that she is accusing you of milking the system while she is working for cash.  :/  I am a happy Canadian, lol.. I beleive in our taxes and helping people when they need it, so I truly hope she has enough money coming her way.  But I also do not feel that you are in the wrong at all, or myself or nearly every single other family I know, for accepting the child money each month.  I believe it is meant to assist with child care costs, and I don’t know of one person that cannot use help with that.  And it no where near covers it, for people that need full time daycare.  The money decreases quite a lot when your child reaches the age of 6.  I get $60 a month for my 7 year old.

Post # 83
2673 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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railroaderwifeyxo :  “She used to work a cash job prior to getting pregnant, so when she started working her job that was on “paper” she found out she was a month pregnant. So she’s only worked 8 months.”  I’ll admit, I laughed a little at this update…your friend isn’t very self aware, when she’s going around causing people of abusing the system.

It’s an interesting phenomenon that we see a lot in US politics. A lot of people are strongly opposed to government “entitlements”, EXCEPT the ones that benefit them. 

Anyway, I’m glad you have given it some more thought and are able to see things from your friend’s perspective. She is definitely in a VERY difficult situation, so you are being a good friend by having some empathy and compassion. 

Post # 84
2617 posts
Sugar bee

She could be different than you politically, but more likely (as pp’s, and yourself have said) she’s frustrated and envious of your situation. When you have very little money and struggle very hard, I imagine it’s difficult to see other people getting the same governmental help that you do. I definitely don’t agree with her mind you, I think that our maternal benefits are one of the better things about living in Canada and I think everyone should get them. Particularly since those who make more money do pay much more in taxes. 

I don’t think that just because your life is more comfortable that there shouldn’t be systems in place that make it possible for you to spend time with your child AND remain a part of the workforce. Maternal benefits aren’t like welfare, they’re in place (partly) so that we don’t have to choose between being a mother and working, it corrects part of the patriarchal imbalance that would otherwise make us totally dependent on husbands or take us away from our kids before they’re ready.

I wouldn’t take what she’s saying to heart at all, I honestly think it’s likely just because she feels she was given a harder lot in life and is misunderstanding the concept behind maternity leave.

Post # 85
3567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

View original reply
railroaderwifeyxo : Just like you didn’t know the US was so different, most Americans don’t realize how much better off Canada is about this. That’s why everyone got mad at your post. Which is totally not fair to you.

But since you sort of asked… I live in Texas. All we get is 12 weeks unpaid. It’s just a guarantee that they won’t fire you during those 12 weeks of not paying you. But obviously most women can’t afford 12 weeks without pay, so many women take about 6 weeks, which is how old baby has to be to start at most daycare centers. Let’s say you get put on bed rest and can’t work for 2 weeks before giving birth — now you only have 10 weeks with baby before you have to go back to work.

I believe only 4 states offer paid, and even then I think only 55% for 6 weeks and then the remaining 6 weeks unpaid before you hit 12 weeks and lose job security.

ETA– Sounds like your friend the dancer is the one abusing the system! Haha. She’s probably paranoid about it and that’s why she yelled at you for it.

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