Post # 1
I sent out a group email to my bridesmaids (and one bridesman) the other day asking for ideas on dresses/outfits – what colour, style, etc. they would prefer. Anyway, the discussion often got sidetracked – with 3 different people, all close friends (and one of them male and not all that worried about dresses), there were a lot of in-jokes, discussion on dresses, and it was a very fast-paced discussion (I honestly got about 70 messages in a few hours).
One of my bridesmaids (SIL) came into the discussion, and she got a bit snippy with another bridesmaid, because the two of them couldn’t agree on a dress (sister loved a particular dress, and SIL said it wouldn’t suit her). Both of them kept going on and on about this one particular dress until they eventually agreed to disagree. Anyway, SIL and I were going out to a fair that afternoon, and she was saying that I should appoint a Maid/Matron of Honor to keep those kind of conversations in line, make sure they don’t get off topic (all the jokes), and make sure that there aren’t any arguments.
Seriously?? I’m not the kind of person that thinks of weddings as sacred or the most important day of my life, so I have no issues at all with someone making jokes about me wearing a dress and falling on my face. I also think my bridesmaids are all adults, and if they disagree on something, then they should either agree to disagree (before it gets to snarky comments), or one of them should get up and walk away from the computer.
Post # 3
@LadyElva: I didn’t even give them the option to be honest because I know that something like that will happen as well. I just went “Here’s the dress that I really like, what do you guys think? Any objections?”
Post # 4
maybe that’s SIL’s way of saying to make her MOH? with or without a Maid/Matron of Honor i do agree that sometimes adults need a referee. not saying it should be the Maid/Matron of Honor or that you should even appoint anyone to be in that situation. just saying adults don’t always act like adults. 🙂
Post # 5
Yeah, I tried the same approach as you, OP. And I had the same response. So now I’m just picking a dress and they can all just get over it. Not worth the hassle.
Post # 6
Yeah, I’m thinking I’ll just pick a colour and they can pick out their own dress in their colour – I don’t want to stick them in a hideous dress (or one I love and they hate), and there’s some very different body types here, so we’ll need different styles.
Nah, SIL actually thought I already had one (assumed an old friend was my MOH), and she asked what my friend would have done if she had seen the conversation because she was Maid/Matron of Honor and should be keeping those discussions on track and, when she got married (a few months ago) if a discussion like that had happened on her email, her Maid/Matron of Honor would have shot it down ASAP.
I love my SIL (I love all my bridesmaids), but I don’t like the implication that a) any discussion on wedding stuff must stay on topic or it’s somehow a huge insult to me or, b) that conversations between adults need to be moderated by an arbitrarily appointmented Maid/Matron of Honor
Post # 7
I hadn’t even given the bridesmaid/men the option of choosing their own dresses before they started submitting sites/pics/stores LOL. My Maid/Matron of Honor is the worst about it. My mom made a similar suggestion and I was like, I give no amount of craps as long as I don’t actually have to read the entire conversation about wedding stuff because Im doing what I want regardless. I like that they are having a good time with it.