Post # 1
I’ve been lurking here for a few months now – at first just to look at everyone’s bling to decide what i wanted. Well it came a month ago and we are now officially engaged after 9 years of dating(3 years in a part-of-the-year long distance relationship.)
We got to show it off to some friends at breakfast the other day… they are all married with children of 0-1 years old.
They said congrats… and that was great, but later they were all saying how we were “behind” and had better “catch up”… what?!? is this a race? it really hurt my feelings…. i don’t see them very often and we have grown apart the last few years since we no longer work together and i have only been spending part of the year in town… but still. who says that? i’m probably taking this too seriously, but it seems that there is some truth in what people say – even when “joking”. what’s wrong with people?
Post # 3
I think you’re taking it too much to heart. It sounds like just small talk. <3
Post # 4
Maybe they were just kidding around? One of my friends with 2 kids told our other friends (with no kids) to catch up because they were talking about wanting to have a kid soon… & we were all laughing. Basically they wanted their kids to be friends & to be close in age :). They didn’t mean that it was actually a race or anything rude.
Post # 6
I’m sure they didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.. but I’m sorry that’s the reaction you got! Nothing can dampen your spirit more than something like that. Sometimes people just don’t have a clue how to act! If anything.. maybe your friends are even slightly envious that you are only just starting this whole exciting process of being engaged and being a bride, whereas there time has passed and they’re well into settling into “real married” life.. which is wonderful and amazing, but nothing can compare to the thrill of being a bride to be!
And congratulations!! It’s worth waiting for to have your wedding be at a time in your life that’s right for both of you 🙂
Post # 7
Oh I am sorry.
I was with my guy for 9 years before he proposed…and we got married during our 11th year together. A lot of our friends are married and have kids…and there were times I felt behind in life compared to them. But Really I didn’t dwell on it. I looked at them and realized….We couldn’t have the wedding we had if we did it earlier (before either of us were done with school and had NO $$)…and even now… I look back and I don’t know if I could have been a mother in my younger 20’s. Okay I could have…but then I just would have missed out on other things and a lot of years would have been more of a struggle.
I think I know a few people who would say that….and like you.. I don’t see them often. Dumb comment.
BE HAPPY! You guys are starting a new chapter in life.. 🙂
Post # 8
First, congrats! Second, it does stink that those statements had to come from your friends. We all have that internal dialogue comparing ourselves to others, but you’ve got to be happy with your current situation or you’ll make yourself crazy. I think the problem is the other people in our lives asking us when we are going to do the next big thing in our lives. When are you getting married? When are you having a baby? When are you having a second baby? People will always want to rush you. Your friends feel pressured by other friends and family members and they pass it along to you. It’s up to us to keep the cycle from perpetuating. Also, if they’re close enough friends and it keeps bugging you, you should say something.