(Closed) You're Gaining weight babe!

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

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Hyperventilate:  Bahahaha. Moobs.

Post # 17
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Yes, I would want him to be honest with me, and I will with him, but not because we have put on pounds, but rather, beause perhaps unhealthy living has caused us to change emotionally; lack of confidence, lack of sex drive, lack of desire to do things, etc.  I think someone could add 10 pounds, but still be in great shape!!  

For example, I run.  I love to run.  Running keeps me stable.  If I stopped running, I would probably gain some weight, but it would also alter my frame of mind.  I would be more tense, more emotional.  I know I would be, because when I have taken a month off due to life, my Fiance has said ‘babe, I think you need to go for a run…you are crazed’.  NOT, ‘babe, I think you need to go for a run…you are gaining weight’.  If he said that, I would smack the shit out of him (not literally). 

He started sleeping ALL THE TIME because his energy level had dropped this winter, because he stopped being active due to the cold/snow.  I had to tell him that his non-stop sleeping was concerning me, and I think he needed to find ways to up his energy.  Not that fact that, yes, he too had put on a few pounds.

For us, it does not come down to how we look physically. Yes, we are attracted to each other’s physical appearance, but I think we both know that it will not last FOREVER.  As long as WE FEEL good about ourselves is what counts.  That is more attractive than the weight we carry!!

Post # 18
Member
3723 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

We talk less about physical appearance and more about fitness and activity. Over the last 18 months, I’ve lost a considerable amount of weight.  He backs me up and encourages me to keep hitting the gym, meeting with my trainer, and puts dinner on the table those nights that I’m out late getting fit. Likewise, I try to get him out there with me going for hikes, walks, biking and more.

If he ever commented that I was gaining weight, I’d be quite upset.

Post # 19
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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Daizy914:  We are really similar. He has a crazy metabolism and somehow loses weight eating junk and gains weight eating healthy food (slightly.. I mean we are talking 5 lbs up or down). I can feel pretty jealous about that as I struggle with my weight. I just hope our kids get that from him and not the weight issues I have. 

We will politely talk to each other about all things though – hair styles, clothes, weight and whatever else. We think it is part of our “job” to hold each other accountable, if that makes sense. So when I make an unhealthy choice if I do something tiny he doesn’t say a word. If I do more than I should he will point it out and do that in a constructive way. I think it helps reign me back in and not do any self justification for the extra carbs, sugar, whatever. I also nag him to drink more water, cut back on candy,.. it is all equal but all loving. 

It is crazy in a way, because anyone else pointing out my weight to me would not go nearly as well I think. I have some deeply seated body image issues so the fact that we can do that gives me even more confidence in us. 🙂 

Good thread! 

Post # 20
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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LilRhodyGem:  Congratulations on the weight loss!! It is great that he is so supportive and that you are keeping your motivation up. WTG! 

Post # 21
Member
8683 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

We definitely let each other know about weight gain, hair cuts, etc.

Post # 22
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee

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Payless:  yes we openly discuss weight gain and rely on each other for support if we want/need to lose a few pounds. Normally it starts with the very same person who gained weight commenting about it. Right now for example I am the most unfit I’ve been in 3 years. And although not even close to being overweight, it is certainly not the shape I like to be in and the fitness level has gone down the drain. So while I’m working on it he makes fun of me. He’ll grab me, hug me and call me “my sweet chunky monkey” and tries to grab whatever excess of fat I have. Lol. We crack up.

About appearance, we tend to openly discuss if we don’t like each others outfits, hair cuts, hair color for me. Although my hair is naturally brown with some red base, he loves when my hair is close to being black. And that comes from a man that loves blondes. Oh the irony! Lol

Post # 23
Member
760 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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Hyperventilate:  We’re like this, especially now that I’m preggo and he’s put on about 15lbs of “pity weight”. He’ll point to my stomach and go “Look! we match!” I also told him its “game over” when the pregnancy is done. We’re both chunky monkeys right now!

 

Post # 24
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

haha. my man is smart enough not to touch that area.  I tried to trick him to comment on my weight and he is very good at switching topic LOL.   we did make comment on losing weight though, not for appearance but for health point, I told him recently that I’m concern that he lost so much weight that his wedding band doesn’t fit anymore. (due to stress) and jokingly ask him if he wants to make me look big on our wedding date haha 

 

Post # 25
Member
2156 posts
Buzzing bee

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Payless:  Fiance has always been skinny. He has a super fast metabolism and can eat, eat, and eat and not gain any weight.

But, he used to work in the tree business so he was always doing some sort of hard labor for 50 hours a week up until last summer. We moved, he went back to school, and got a job waiting tables. He hasn’t gained weight, nor does he look like he has, but he’s not as toned as he used to be. And he’s got a little bit of pudge around his belly, but seriously, its cute haha. I poke fun of him every now and then and say “Geez babe you really let yourself go”. He’s beeen going to the gym because he says he feels out of shape and doesn’t look as good as he used to. He looks great- just not as toned as he used to, but that hasn’t changed my attraction to him at all.

I’ve done the same since we moved. I started working full time so getting in a gym routine has been hard for me (I have to go at 4:30 am, bleh). He doesn’t really point it out, but occassionally jokes with me like I do with him.

It’s all in good fun!

Post # 26
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

yes we’re very honest with each other. if my breathe stinks, i want him to tell me and vice versa. if he’s gaining weight, i tell him and vice versa(i NEED weight lol)

Post # 27
Member
6107 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

 

Yes, we openly discuss each other’s weight. However, it always comes from a “good”, caring place…not from a mean or critical place. I rarely say anything about his weight because he’s blessed and doesn’t really gain weight. He has mentioned my weight a few times and while I do get a little hurt (in that moment) I appreciate where he’s coming from. Also, he really only says something if he hears me complain about my weight. He tries to help me stay on track with healthy eating by reminding me that I don’t need that cupcake or how I keep saying I want to lose weight.

Post # 29
Member
8434 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

We openly discuss each other’s weight, but in a supportive way (i.e. suggest more walks, lighter cooking, cut down on soda, etc).  My husband rarely mentions my weight, but I can pretty much eat whatever I want as long as I’m not gulping down sodas (we don’t drink diet anything lol).  He tends to gain weight more readily, but I like heavy set guys so it’s not an issue.  I think it’s good to be honest with each other as long as it’s not mean/cruel.

Post # 30
Member
1863 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

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Payless:  When one of us feels like we have gained a little weight, we usually say to the other “Ugh, I feel like I put on weight… I need to get rid of it”. We both make it a point to take care of our figure/bodies and if one or the other is gaining some weight, we’re the first to address it to ourself and state how we want to eat healthier (though we already eat pretty healthy), workout more, etc. 

Neither of us would rudely say to the other person, holy cow, you put on weight! And when one of us does state how we feel we have put on weight, we’re usually supportive in saying things along the lines of “Really , I can’t tell that much.. little more healthy eating should do the trick” or “We should start going for a run together”. 

And to answer one of your questions, I’d prefer he not tell me I’ve put on weight. I’d rather just address it myself, which I have no problem doing. 

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