Post # 1
I will try to make this as short and sweet as possible. Any (and ALL feedback) is appreciated.
My fiance and I booked our venue in August of 2010 and chose our November 2011 wedding date. He officially proposed in early September (that’s a long story). From the moment we were “officially” engaged we started telling people about our wedding date in November of 2011. Our Save The Dates went out a few weeks ago. Last week, a couple that is in our wedding party booked their venue and date…less than a week before our wedding. We’re not upset about it because we know that they didn’t do it intentionally (they had a lot of family/money/venue drama). However, they were aware of our date FOR MONTHS and we asked them to be in our wedding party 3 months ago (actually we asked them to be in our wedding before they were even engaged). They told us that they could still be in our wedding because they don’t plan on going on a honeymoon. They also asked us to be in their wedding which is less than a week before ours.
1. How should we approach our conversation with them regarding being in each other’s wedding parties. They’ve really contended with a lot of BS regarding their wedding and I don’t want to add any additional stress. I’m genuinely excited for them. I’m happy that their families were finally able to agree on the venue and overall tone of the wedding (even though that means it’s stealing a bit of our thunder).
2. Is it reasonable to ask that we don’t exchange presents? Meaning, our present to each other is that we are participating in each other’s weddings?
3. Is it even POSSIBLE to be in a wedding less than a week before your own wedding? I know that is crunch time. In terms of responsibility as a bridesmaid (and my fiance’s responsibility as a groomsman) I feel like I might fall down on the job because I’m worried about the details of my own wedding.
4. Financially, I know that this will be difficult for my fiance and I. Fortunately, we’re in a position where we don’t have to worry too much about the finances for our wedding. Conversely, our friends are VERY worried about how they are going to pay for their own wedding, but they insist that they still want to be in ours.
Bees, please help!
Post # 3
I think you can totally be in another wedding before yours. You may need to talk the bride and let her know that, of course, you’re there for her, but you also have your own wedding to deal with. She’s likely to completely understand.
I’m going to be a bridesmaid in one of my bridesmaid’s weddings just two weeks before ours, and I’m not worried. My friend is great, and she’ll totally understand my needs and restrictions, just as I will understand hers.
Financially speaking, let them worry about their finances. It’s sweet of you to be concerned, but they’ll do what they are able and comfortable with.
I know it’s frustrating that they’re getting married so close to you, but unfortunately, we each only have claim to our one day. I’ve had to remind myself of that fact many times! But don’t worry, I promise you’ll each still have all the wonderful-ness you deserve.
Post # 4
@Gemstone: Thank you! My initial reaction was, “no big deal, we’ll make it work”. Then my mother, Maid/Matron of Honor, MOH2, and fiance all freaked out and consequently freaked me out too. I actually thought it was kind of cool that my Bridesmaid or Best Man and I would go through the experience together.
Post # 5
@Lulu910: That’s what my friend and I have been saying too. How cool it is that we’ll start our married lives at almost the exact same time AND get to be a part of each other’s weddings!
Plus, adopting that outlook (even if it takes some effort), is WAY more fun than being upset about it.
Post # 6
One of my bridesmaids made her wedding (that I am supposed to be in) a week after ours in the states (we live in Canada).
Fiance and I were going to attend and go on a later hm, but after other issues with her, I just do not feel the need to put the money and energy into this!
If your friends live nearby you, I don’t see it being a huge deal, especially if you can work out a deal to not exchange gifts (I would have no problem with that if I were in their shoes). Just try to compromise on both of your parts, it’s all you can do I guess.
Post # 7
This is so exciting! My two best friends are getting married less than two weeks apart from each other this summer too, and each bride is in the other’s bridal party (hah and I’m in both, of course). I think you will find that many of the things you are worried about (putting additional stress on your stretched budgets and limited time) will be things you can communicate about easily with a friend who is going through the exact same thing!
Enjoy planning together, and if you have a lot of overlapping friends, embrace the awesomeness that is joint bachelorette parties or showers!
Oh, and congratulations!
Post # 8
You can definately do it! Think of their wedding day as a day to sit back and relax. Have fun and enjoy the anticipation of you and your fh getting married soon after. It’ll be a day where you don’t have to stress or worry about any details.
It’s an honor to be in their wedding and you should be delighted that even though they may be tight on a budget they still want to show you how much they care for you.
maybe instead of requesting not to give gifts suggest to have dinner together at your home as newlyweds. Spending time together is always better than a gift, that could be a very special moment for 2 couples who got married so close together.
enjoy this time and have fun with it