Post # 1
I am recently engaged and think my cousins expect to be in my wedding. My older cousin was married two years ago and had me and her other cousin in the wedding, and my younger cousin has stated that she plans to do the same and had mentioned being my bridesmaid prior to my engagement. I’m not very close with my cousins, and my fiancé and I both have four attendants picked already which is a number we are happy with. Am I obligated to ask my cousins? how should I handle it if they are upset, or is their a way to prevent them being upset? Help!
Post # 2
flowersa09: You are not obligated to ask them.
If they are upset and mention it to you, you can simply say (especially to the older cousin who is already married) how difficult you found it to choose from the many deserving friends and relatives. If they are polite enough to not mention it to you, don’t do or say anything.
There is nothing you can do to control how they feel. If yoyu want, you could ask them to fill another role- do a reading perhaps?
Post # 3
You’re not obligated to ask anyone to be in your wedding. Ask who you want.
Post # 4
As pp’s have said you are not obligated to ask anyone to be in your bridal party. I would also not mention it unless she directly asks you if she is your bridesmaid.
Post # 5
You are definitely not obligated. If they seem upset to not be included, maybe you can give them another job such as handing out programs at the ceremony.
Post # 6
I was considering asking them to be a part of my wedding in some other way! I had thought of having them hand out programs but I’m asking my brothers, who are too old to be ring bearers and too young to be groomsmen, to do that job and don’t think I need 4 people. I don’t think they’d be willing to do readings. Any other ideas to make them feel included?? Thanks ladies!
Post # 7
If you don’t ask them to do a reading, I’d just let them enjoy being a guest. If you think they are already miffed by not being a bridesmaid, I think asking them to do a job such as handing out programs would be insulting to them IMO.
Post # 8
flowersa09: It is your wedding, and you are not obligated to ask them! Just be honest and Im sure they’ll understand.
Post # 9
flowersa09: like others have said, its your day! You dont have to ask them to be in your wedding. But if it is pulling at you, having them be apart of the wedding in another way is a very sweet gesture. But don’t be gulited into including them, do what YOU want 🙂