(Closed) You're not coming to my wedding so why should I go to yours? …right?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
46612 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

cml:   really we should be able to be in the same room and be cordial at least.

You and your Fiance are both right. Support his friendship with the groom by attending the wedding.

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Post # 3
2957 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

HA I am having this exact problem with my ex- bff, who married DH’s bff. We are cordial, but she still declined my invitation. It was a destination wedding, and she took it one step further then just declining – she came to the city where our wedding was, her husband came (he was a groomsman) and yet she waited in their hotel room for him, and made him leave our reception early to come back to her. 

Now, they are planning a vow renewal, which I refuse to attend with Darling Husband. He says I need to be the bigger person, and that I’m being unreasonable. Psh! 

Anyway, long story short, if I were you I wouldn’t go. Even if that is petty :/

Post # 4
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013


cml:  If I were you I wouldnt go. It seems like you dont even like her anyways so why go to her wedding? My cousin didnt come to mine so i’m not going to hers and also cause I really dont like her so I dont see why I would want to celebrate with her

Post # 5
2347 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

cml:  GO!  I completely understand this situation!!  She probably won’t even see it coming.  Not only will you be the bigger person for going, but you can STILL spite her just by being there if she expects you to decline.  

Post # 8
1868 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

At first I thought, she shouldn’t go. BUT then I thought, it would probably be even more spiteful and annoy the bride even more if you did go. Dance your butt off with your husband without glancing at her once. You best believe she will be glancing over at you and getting annoyed about it. 

Post # 9
8682 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

cml:  How do you know that she doesn’t have something else on that day and that was why she declined? My husband and I have both been invited to different events on the same day. It is not unheard of.

Stop being petty, not everything is about you and go and support your friend on his wedding day.

Post # 10
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

whoa_its_ash:  And she didn’t die from being left alone in a hotel room for a few hours? That’s shocking. A few people on these boards would be baffled by this concept.

I also would not go, its not even a wedding, its a vow renewal!!

cml:  I’d support the groom by attending. I get a kick out of being the bigger person though, I’d beam at her all day and give her my most ‘sincere’ congratulations when I saw her.

Post # 11
1895 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think it’s a little crazy so many people want you to go to make it uncomfortable for her. It’s her wedding day!

this all sounds really petty. 

Post # 12
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

2 wrongs don’t make a right. This isn’t high school, so ditch the drama.

Post # 14
678 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

I am kinda going through something like this. My brother married my best friend. She and i had a falling out and were no longer friends and wouldn’t allow me to speak to my brother for months. Once thier wedding got closer my brother demanded that she call me and mend fences to ensure I’d be at their wedding.

Now here it is 5 years later and it’s my turn. She has told my mother that she won’t be attending simply because she doesn’t want my wedding rubbed in her face? UMMM yeah..crazy i know.

I say go with you Fiance to her wedding, smile congragulate her and keep it moving. 

Post # 15
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I have to agree with cls9q:  

This is a wedding…Why would ANYONE go to a wedding to make the bride unhappy? If you can’t go and be nice (not just civil) then stay home and celebrate your revenge on the couch. Weddings are not the time nor the place to make the world about you. 

Decline if you can’t be a respectful and nice adult. 

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