(Closed) You’re probably going to think I’m a bitch…BUT,

posted 11 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

“Me time” is very important to me as well so I completely understand the way you feel. I do think you have to try to keep your disappointment to yourself (I know it is hard!) because you do not want to hurt his feelings. It does not have anything to do with your love for him or him as a person but he may not completely understand that. I do not know your husband obviously so I cannot be sure but if it were my husband I know he would be kind of sad.

Post # 18
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

AH finally, people I can relate to!  I have zero alone time too, except while driving to and from work.  I treasure those times when Fiance goes off on his golf holidays.  I miss him while he’s gone, but I love to do whatever, whenever!  I’m going to have a look at the article that @arclee: posted!  Fiance loves to bug me, especially when I’m reading and always feels the need to be in the same room which sometimes drives me nuts lol.  I didn’t know how to address it before without hurting his feelings, but maybe I can learn something now!

Post # 20
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee

why dont you send him out to run some errands?? that way hes out of your way for a few hoursTongue out

Post # 21
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I heart my alone time and crave it, the good thing is that I think my fiance does too. We work 4 blocks from each other and start at the same time. He always takes the train and I always walk, we love having some solo time in the morning and after work to transition from work to home.

Some thoughts of how to still get some alone time, can you take off in January? Can you “house sit” for a few hours for a friend who is going out of town for the holiday (water plants, get mail, spend a few hours being alone)? Can you take a long walk, solo? Can you two agree that for a short time (maybe 2 hours) he is in one room doing something quiet (reading, watching TV, catching up on emails) and give you the rest of the house to do as you please (I also hate cleaning with others around)? If he has mobility, can he run some holiday errands?

Lastly, you aren’t a bitch, stop thinking of your desire for some alone time as selfish. I am confident that if you explained it to him, he may respond that he already knows this about it.

Post # 22
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

DUDE. I totally get it. I’m the same way. Much as I love him, I love when he goes away for a weekend so I can sit around, paint my nails, drink champagne, etc.

I have the week between Christmas and NY off. We’re heading to San Diego on xmas day to visit with his brother and family. And their parents are flying in from NC too.

Now he says he’s going to invite them back to spend a couple of days with us in L.A. after Christmas. Well…he has to work. So what…I’m supposed to entertain them all day? When I was supposed to have the house to myself?!

ARGH!

LOL. I mean, I’ll deal with it. He doesn’t get to see his parents often. But I am totally bummed so I feel you!

I hope you get a few minutes to yourself!

Post # 23
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@stephinPA: I completely understand. That doesn’t make you a bitch at all! My fiance was out of work for about 9 months after he graduated and was looking for a “real job”. It was probably the hardest 9 months of our ten years together. You should take a day or two to go out and do something by yourself or be honest with him and tell him you haven’t had much time to yourself lately and ask if he might be willing to get out of the house for a few hours.

Post # 24
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Definitely NOT bitchy!

We both need our alone time every once in awhile. Sometimes I’ll go run errands to let him have the house to himself for an hour or so, sometimes he’ll do the same for me. I think most people (especially living in a city where you are constantly surrounded by people) need some time to just be by themselves.

Post # 25
Member
1958 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@stephinPA – NOT a bitch. In fact, same here. I adore my husband, I really do, but man, when he was out of work for 6months, and I didn’t get my 1 hour at home by myself (I got out of work at 4, and his old job released him at 5), I became quite the crankypants. Thankfully he’s back to work, and I have my alone time back where I can read and snuggle the kitties, but still, sometimes a girl just needs to decompress without hubs around!

Post # 26
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

I completely understand! I told my FH that if he were around all the time I would start to resent him. I love him, but everyone needs “me” time! The house gets completely turned upside down and I can’t get any housework done when he’s home 24/7. I want to spend my life with him, but NOT evey minute of every day. You are not a bitch!

Post # 27
Member
1374 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Oh, I’m EXACTLY the same way.  Insufficient alone time equals a very cranky lezlers. We all have verying degrees of required alone time and you should never feel bad for needing it.  If my Fiance was home 24/7 I’d get a little crazy, too (I’ve been known to take a sick day at work JUST so I can spend a day alone.) Fiance doesn’t understand why I’ll take vacation days and not go anywhere, since he’s working.  Because it’s my own private vacation, dummy!  From you and everyone else!

You’re definitely NOT a bitch.

Post # 28
Member
1675 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Don’t feel bad! Everyone needs some alone time…I’m a hosuewife and when my husband comes home early, I’m happy but bummed that I can’t watch a silly movie and veg.

Post # 29
Member
1037 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Don’t feel bad. I miss my alone time too. I got used to living alone and now it seems like I’m never alone. We even commute most of the way into to work together because it saves money and time. Time because we can use the HOV or carpool lane.

Post # 31
Member
1206 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I need this too!  Don’t worry!  Sometimes I just need time to read facebook, blogs, watch trashy tv in my pjs and clean by myself.  I can sometimes do it if DH is on the computer for hours but it’s not the same.

maybe try seeing if you could get some alone time with him somewhere else.  Can he leave the house?  is there a part of the house he/you could retreat to for an afternoon?

The topic ‘You’re probably going to think I’m a bitch…BUT,’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors