(Closed) You're wearing WHAT to my wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 31
1786 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

My Future Sister-In-Law is planning to wear white to our wedding reception. We asked her not to and she refused. We offered to give her money for something else, and she refused. We asked her to at least consider a colored cardigan over it, and she refused. Some battles you just can’t win. People will probably gossip at your wedding just like they did at your cousins. You’re still the bride at the end of the day and no one can take that away from you!

Post # 33
5136 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

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daniellemc:  we must have went to the same wedding!!!! My SILs grandmother wore a pure white, i mean diamond white suit to SILs wedding. on top of that she was late, anddd best part she just came from shopping. She came walking it with 3 huge shopping bags. 

We didnt invite this grandmother to our wedding, DH cannot stand her and resents her for how she treats his father (FIL). I tried to get him to reconsider but even my own Father-In-Law said not to invite her. 

As for your grandmother, i know it sucks but youcant dictate what someone can and cannot wear. Your grandmothwr is going to be the one to look like an ass. Not you. You are the bride and you will stand out no matter what

Post # 34
3080 posts
Sugar bee

My daughter’s grandmother was told what the bridesmaids were wearing (dark purple) and she went out and bought a purple long dress, too. She actually had the nerve to say out loud “I guess I look like a bridesmaid, too.” Well, the joke was on her. She has a large backside and when I saw the back of her, when she was walking down the aisle, all I could think of was Barney the dinosaur lost the spots on his tail. 

Post # 35
13771 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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daniellemc:  Well, if they bad mouth your grandmother for wearing white and breaking with so called  traditional etiquette then they will also have to bad mouth people for having registries, unique wording on invitations, destination weddings, and  overblown showers. I doubt that they do. 

Post # 36
1767 posts
Buzzing bee

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Lakeside003:  Maybe you should just ask her not to come. You’re a lot more patient than I am.

Post # 37
2274 posts
Buzzing bee

So there’s a really old woman or even a young woman with a good figure wearing an ivory dress to a wedding in which you are the bride.  WHO CARES??? 

Do you think someone will mistake her for you? Do you look 65 years old? Will she be wearing a veil and carrying flowers?

And do you know how really lucky you are to have a grandma who can be there with you? How lucky to have a gutsy, feisty grandma who, as a matriarch, dances to her own drummer.

Isn’t there some other aspect of the event that you can micromamage without going after grandma? And if the cousin’s wedding 2 years ago was totatally DESTROYED by what Grandma wore, why didn’t someone take it up with her after THAT wedding? Or could it be that it wasn’t such a big deal then either?

You do know, right, that your wedding is going to be he most beautiful day of your life, no matter WHAT she wears,? AND SO IT SHOULD BE, so stop worrying about this and amp up THE JOY!!!!

Post # 38
638 posts
Busy bee

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daniellemc:  My dad’s mother wore an ivory pant-suit to my mother’s AND to my dad and stepmom’s wedding. I straight up told my dad (jokingly) that if she wears the same thing to mine, I will tell someone to accidentally spill red wine on her. She sounds similar to your Groomsmen and I just don’t get it. They had their day and the worst part is no one will even know who she is because they live in FL and aren’t very close to my sister and I.

Post # 41
55 posts
Worker bee

My grandpa was kind of “eccentric” in that he liked to show his humor by wearing odd clothing and he was often very disheveled looking.  He would intentionally button his sweater in the wrong holes so it was crooked, or wear striped pants and a paisley shirt, or a sideways cap, or mismatched socks, loud suspenders, etc.  A lot of people, including my aunt and uncle used to yell at him for this because they felt he was embarrassing them in public.  My father and mother divorced when my siblings and I were very young, we only saw our dad like once a year if we were lucky.  It was my grandpa who always took the time to come get us and take us places, out to eat, for ice cream, horseback riding, trips to the country, etc.

I loved my grandpa so very very much, I would not be who I am today if it were not for him.  When I think of him now, it was those quirky things about how he dressed and funny clowning around in public places (playing an imaginary piano on the restaurant table, tap dancing while waiting in line, etc) that make me laugh out loud when I think about him and how much I adored him and those things that made him so unique.  I was actually proud of my grandpa that he dressed kind of nutty because he was so interesting and nobody else had a grandpa like him.  Most of my relatives, though, always wanted to act like they didn’t know him in public or tried to dictate what he wore on outings.

What I’m trying to say is, yes, maybe your grandma is wearing something that’s not appropriate but her choices of clothing are reflecting who she is, an individual who follows her heart and not conforming to society’s “rules” for what she should or shouldn’t wear.  If people want to talk crap about her then so be it.  When she is gone, you will think of her fondly when you think of the silly inappropriate things she did, you will not even think of those petty people who talked about the color of her dress at your wedding.  Somewhere along the line, you might even end up doing things like her.  I have been intentionally wearing mismatched socks for years and years because I loved that about my grandpa.  Now it’s the “thing” with kids, lol!

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by BeeSomebody.
Post # 42
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Unless the dress is hideous, I don’t really see the problem, other than it’s “breaking tradition.”

Maybe you could suggest a shopping day and help her find a new dress? Say “We already have pictures of you in that dress from X’s wedding…let’s go shopping so you can treat yourself to a new one!”

Post # 43
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I would let her wear the dress. Think of the all white weddings where all the guests wear white.. Everyone knows who the bride is, she still gets all the attention, and everyone looks Lovely. 

Post # 44
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Am I the only one who doesn’t care if guests would wear white to my wedding?

Post # 45
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Good on you for trying to protect your Grandma, but you said in your original post that she likes attention and doesn’t see the problem so I’d just move on. If people are going to be nasty then they’ll find something to be nasty about dress or no dress. Enjoy your day!

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