- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
I’m so sorry that you are going through this. I have to say though that I’ve been in this place before, only I was the one that was pushing my fiance away (the first guy I was engaged to, not my current husband). That being said, I didn’t really realize it until after we separated…we were both stressed from work, moving in together, I was finishing school, getting engaged, planning a wedding, purchasing a home, etc. I chalked it all up to the fact that we were stressed. I never really looked any deeper than that. When we seperated a month before the wedding, the first thing my cousin asked me (she was the only other person in our ENTIRE family to go thru divorce/separation) was “how was your sex life for the past several months” — “umm, pretty non-existent”. It was honestly the writing on the wall for us, and we should have seperated a long time before we did. I know other couples who have been in the same situation. My ex and I decided not to go to counseling or attempt to pursue a continued relationship, but I know deep down that if we would have we would have continued to uncover other issues within the relationship that would have led us down the same path–just longer and more drawn out. In my situation, things are very different this time around, and I think others have touched on the fact that their relationships are different. It doesn’t matter how much or what we argue about throughout the day, how tired/stressed we are, etc…hubby and I never have an issue becoming intimate. It’s just different than it ever was before with the “wrong” person.
I do wish you the best of luck, none of this is easy and its important to ensure that you are happy in all parts of your relationship.